Nothing tires a man more than to be grateful all the time.
A reasonable probability is the only certainty.
I believe in grumbling; it is the politest form of fighting known.
The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.
There is always a type of man who says he loves his fellow men, and expects to make a living at it.
A woman does not spend all her time in buying things; she spends part of it in taking them back.
There is no such thing as a convincing argument, although every man thinks he has one.
Put cream and sugar on a fly and it tastes very much like a raspberry.
People never have confidence in a Big Talker. They know his statements must be cut down, but they can never tell how much.
When a man is trying to sell you something, don't imagine he is that polite all the time.
The way to keep a cat is to try to chase it away.
No wonder the teacher knows so much; she has the book.
Probably you have noted the resemblance of the critic to the crank.
No really sensible person ever remembers enough poetry to recite it.
The man who insists he as good as anybody, believes he is better.
When a man dies, and his kin are glad of it, they say, "He is better off."
One trouble with growing old is that it gets progressively tougher to find a famous historical figure, who didn't amount to much when he was your age.
A woman might as well propose: her husband will claim she did.
Fishing seems to be the favorite form of loafing.
If your faith is opposed to experience, to human learning and investigation, it is not worth the breath used in giving it expression.
A religion that never suffices to govern a man will never suffice to save him; that which does not sufficiently distinguish one from a wicked world will never distinguish him from a perishing world.
Virtue must be valuable, if men and women of all degrees pretend to have it.
The modest person is usually admired, if people ever hear of them.
Men have as exaggerated an idea of their rights as women have of their wrongs.
Common sense is compelled to make its way without the enthusiasm of anyone.
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