In a rich man's house there is no place to spit but his face.
I pissed on the man who called me a dog. Why was he so surprised?
He has the most who is most content with the least.
If only it was as easy to banish hunger by rubbing the belly as it is to masturbate.
Of what use is a philosopher who doesn't hurt anybody's feelings?
One original thought is worth a thousand mindless quotings
People who talk well but do nothing are like musical intruments; the sound is all they have to offer.
It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours.
We have two ears and one tongue so that we would listen more and talk less.
We come into the world alone and we die alone. Why, in life, should we be any less alone?
Fools! You think of "god" as a sentient being. God is the word used to represent a force. This force created nothing, it just helps things along. It does not answer prayers, although it may make you think of a way to solve a problem. It has the power to influence you, but not decide for you.
No man is hurt but by himself. ...Literally by how he interprets what happens to him. If he focusses on how it could have been better, he will be hurt. If he focusses on how it could have been worse, he will be happy. The same is true for women too.
You will become a teacher of yourself when for the same things that you blame others, you also blame yourself.
The most beautiful thing in the world is freedom of speech.
Why not whip the teacher when the pupil misbehaves?
We are more curious about the meaning of dreams than about things we see when awake.
There is only a finger's difference between a wise man and a fool.
Once he saw the officials of a temple leading away some one who had stolen a bowl belonging to the treasurers, and said, "The great thieves are leading away the little thief."
To become self-educated you should condemn yourself for all those things that you would criticize others.
Self-taught poverty is a help toward philosophy, for the things which philosophy attempts to teach by reasoning, poverty forces us to practice.
He lit a lamp in broad daylight and said, as he went about, "I am looking for a human."
The mob is the mother of tyrants.
Dogs and philosophers do the greatest good and get the fewest rewards.
He once begged alms of a statue, and, when asked why he did so, replied, "To get practice in being refused."
The art of being a slave is to rule one's master.
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