I've got four women in my house - my wife and my three daughters - and I tell you what, it's pretty scary. I keep my head down and if we're out shopping I try and look in a man's shop while they make their minds up.
There was a spell in the second half when I took my heart off my sleeve and put it in my mouth.
The dietician is going to get rid of that when he comes in. Although, first, we've got to get a dietician.
I feel like a steaming cow-pat - or a car that's clocked up 400,000 miles in one journey.
Apparently it’s my fault that the Titanic sank.
I feel like I've been on EastEnders all my life and now I'm playing King Lear.
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