I've got to say that I don't see myself as some sort of political type like Alec Baldwin or Barbra Streisand. I don't want to come across like that. I'd be embarrassed if that was the way I came across.
I don't care if my jokes are appropriate for a kid.
Nevada's one of the most conservative states in the Union, but you can do what you want in Vegas and nobody judges you.
TV is easier: it's all planned out for you, and the audience is there to see a show and they are all pumped up, but when you are in a comedy club, you have to be really funny to win them over. To me, that's more pure.
Exercise is the main thing that helped me lose weight.
I tried out for 'Jeopardy' once, when they came to Cleveland, but I didn't make it.
I just liked stand-up comedy so much. I used to memorize Bill Cosby albums and other people's albums, George Carlin, Flip Wilson.
I just try to get people to laugh - I'm not trying to change the world or anything.
I don't do one show and wish I was doing something else.
I always thought I was going to die before I was 60.
George Carlin is kind of my template now because George Carlin before was straight laced regular comic and he had short hair, a tie, suit, nightclub guy. Then he said screw it, let his hair grow, just started telling what he thought was the truth. So that's what I'm trying to do.
People laugh to forget their troubles, and to forget their troubles they like to look at people who aren't doing better than they are.
Green Screen was a total experiment. I'm glad we did it, but it was just tough on that network to get it going.
I do get the comics online I guess but it's such a pain. I'd rather just get them in the paper and read them.
I never thought I was a libertarian until I picked up Reason magazine and realized I agree with everything they had printed.
I always run in the morning on an empty stomach, and I'll go through a bottle and a half of water. Then I have a protein drink or I eat egg whites.
The less [government] the better.
That's the great thing about having your friends around you. I've known these guys forever. I really enjoy their company just as people. You couldn't ask for a better work environment.
The difference between Las Vegas and Atlantic City is the difference between getting conned by a beautiful call girl and getting mugged by a crack head.
I don't have a Bluetooth thing on my ear. That bugs me.
It should be up to each bar owner and patron to decide if they want to smoke or not.
Why is everybody afraid of going to Heaven? You want to be here with the smog and the sin and bad people and the war? Or do you want to be in Heaven, sitting next to Jesus, you know?
The best thing about Las Vegas is that no one pretends to be responsible for your behavior like they do in the rest of the country. There's no meddling self-righteous liberals or right-wing Christian demagogues telling you that you can't do something fun with your own time and money. If you can afford it, it's yours.
But I don't want to lose touch with things like eating in Bob's Big Boy.
I am happy that I ran the half-marathon, but to me, just running and saying that I finished a race isn't enough for me. I want to run the race as best as I can. Working out for pants size isn't enough. I need a goal or a race to get back on the treadmill every day.
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