When I look back I can think that of course I've been lazy and haven't practiced as much as I could have and have wasted time. Still though, I look back on my life and I think that really, I am very happy that I lived my life the way I have and I would never ever have wished it any other way - especially, the six years with my lama and then the 18 in Lahul.
There is an enormous joy and satisfaction in doing what you really want to do and are best fitted to do. When it all comes together like that, it gives you a wonderful sense of well-being and satisfaction knowing that you have been doing what you were intended to do for this lifetime.
At the age of 21 I was so sensible and became a nun. I am very grateful to myself for that.
Forget about realizing shunyata and going on the different bhumis and all this. Just stay in the moment, stay aware, be kind and try to improve your mind.
When I look back I feel very grateful.
If you don't find that people find you're easier to live with than you were before, if you don't find that your heart is feeling warmer toward others and if your negative emotions are not getting any better, then there's something wrong. That is always the touchstone of the Dharma practice.
Other people may tell us, "Oh, you're so much nicer." Of course you can't hope that other people will tell you that you're so much nicer, but that's always a good sign. Perhaps people find that you're easier to live with.
In the beginning especially, we won't realize we're changing.
People talk over and over about bodhichitta, but so often their heart is quite cold.
It's not a matter of how much you know or can define, or how many millions of mantras or thousands of prostrations you have done, or how many months of wangs you've attended. The important thing is whether or not the mind is really changing, whether our negative emotions are really coming under control, whether we are really beginning to understand ourselves, whether our mind is really improving, and whether in our hearts there is genuine love and caring for other people.
Try to develop some genuine love and compassion, some real caring for others.
Keep your practice very simple and don't be too ambitious.
Don't be thinking that this lama over there is giving better teachings or that this lama over here is giving more secret initiations. Leave that. Just keep the practice very simple, try to stay in the moment and try to stay mindful.
The Dharma is a very, very special and precious thing. The more you practice it, the more you will realize this.
In one way I would like to teach, but I have no qualifications to teach Westerners.
I really don't know what I could teach and don't really plan to teach.
Basically, I feel to spend the rest of my life doing retreat.
At one time I thought that if I could really understand renunciation and bodhichitta from the depths of my heart, then, for this lifetime that would be enough.
Basically, I want to spend my time in retreat, but to my own amazement, I agreed to help with a project to start a training center for nuns. I agreed because I think it's really very important for the Western Sangha. I don't know how I'm going to help, but it's important.
With sincerity from the depths of your heart to do the best you can, just keep going and don't worry too much that you're not Milarepa or Rechungpa.
Look at your own potential. Don't overestimate your capabilities and push too hard, or underestimate them and use that as an excuse to be lazy.
The more you realize, the more you realize how much there is to realize and, at the same time, how much you realize that there is nothing to realize. So, it's an enormous job, not something that is going to be finished in this lifetime.
In Dharma practice, the most important thing is to be very sincere.
Even if the hermits do not appear to benefit other beings with their presence or teachings, still they are enormously inspiring to many. Perhaps, in this lifetime, they were meant to work on their own practice, to try to purify their own mindstream so that in future lifetimes (that will last a lot longer than this one), they will be fit vessels to give the teachings to others.
In the very deep darkness of this world, little pinpoints of light show up very brightly and can shine a long way.
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