I went down like a drunken cowgirl trying to line dance to Metallica.
Whatever makes your balloon red, Swopes.
There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me.
I often question my sanity. Occasionally, it replies.
Do not disturb. Already there.
Don't judge me because I'm quiet. No one plans a murder out loud.
An integral part of any best friend's job is to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
When I want your opinion, I'll remove the duct tape.--T-SHIRT
Paperwork wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for all the paper. And the work.
I totally should've gone to Hogwarts when I had the chance.
I chose the road less traveled. Now I'm lost.
What do you want?" "You," he said, his voice lowering an octave. "I want you, Dutch, body and soul. I want you in my bed every night. I want you there when I wake up in the morning. I want your clothes strung across my apartment and your scent on my skin.
If I couldn't be a good example, I'd just have to be a horrible warning.
I meant to behave. There were just too many other options.--T-SHIRT
Death comes to those who wait. And to those who don't. So either way.
I stop fighting my inner demons. We're on the same side now. T-shirt
I lowered the gun but didn’t holster it. Not just yet. She could turn out to be psychotic. Or a door-to-door salesperson.
I'd have a longer attention span if there weren't so many shiny things.
I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.
Somebody has to be sane during regular business hours, and it's not going to be me, missy.
Chocolate and coffee ? Together ? Whoever came up with that combination should have won a Nobel Peace Prize. Or at least a subscription to Reader's Digest.
If I was going to go out tonight, I was going to go out fighting. Or screaming in agony. Either way.
This is one Fruit Loop beyond certifiable.
It is sexy in here or is it just me?
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