Mark Twain Quotes - Page 9

• It is better to give than receive- especially advice.

  Mark Twain

  Giving, Advice

  14 Copy quote

• Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

  Mark Twain

  Inspirational, Funny, Sarcastic

  Mark Twain (2015). “Bite-Size Twain: Wit and Wisdom from the Literary Legend”, p.88, St. Martin's Press

  40 Copy quote

• God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.

  Mark Twain

  God, Sarcastic, Education

  Mark Twain (2014). “Mark Twain on Common Sense: Timeless Advice and Words of Wisdom from America's Most-Revered Humorist”, p.15, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.

  25 Copy quote

• It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Sports, Inspiration

  73 Copy quote

• Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Hilarious, Men

  56 Copy quote

• Adam was not alone in the Garden of Eden, however, and does not deserve all the credit; much is due to Eve, the first woman, and Satan, the first consultant.

  Mark Twain

  Wisdom, Garden, Eden

  Mark Twain (2016). “The Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain”, p.76, Chartwell

  51 Copy quote

• When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

  Mark Twain

  Love, Funny, Motivational

  Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.121, Courier Corporation

  91 Copy quote

• Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

  Mark Twain

  Life, Graduation, Wise

  "Mark Twain, selected writings of an American skeptic". Book by Mark Twain, 1983.

  176 Copy quote

• Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Life, Sarcastic

  Mark Twain (2015). “Bite-Size Twain: Wit and Wisdom from the Literary Legend”, p.31, St. Martin's Press

  170 Copy quote

• The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.

  Mark Twain

  Business, Inspiration, Humor

  22 Copy quote

• We teach them to take their patriotism at second-hand; to shout with the largest crowd without examining into the right or wrong of the matter -- exactly as boys under monarchies are taught and have always been taught. We teach them to regard as traitors, and hold in aversion and contempt, such as do not shout with the crowd, and so here in our democracy we are cheering a thing which of all things is most foreign to it and out of place -- the delivery of our political conscience into somebody else's keeping. This is patriotism on the Russian plan.

  Mark Twain

  Cheer, Boys, Hands

  Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.349, Courier Corporation

  46 Copy quote
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  Sacred cows make the best hamburger.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

  Mark Twain (2014). “Mark Twain on Common Sense: Timeless Advice and Words of Wisdom from America's Most-Revered Humorist”, p.30, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.

  91 Copy quote

• Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Life, Inspiration

  Mark Twain (2008). “10 Books in 1”, p.684, Shoes & Ships & Sealing Wax

  77 Copy quote

• An enemy can partly ruin a man, but it takes a good-natured injudicious friend to complete the thing and make it perfect.

  Mark Twain

  Friendship, Men, Perfect

  Mark Twain, General Press (2016). “The Complete Works of Mark Twain: All 13 Novels, Short Stories, Poetry and Essays”, p.2014, GENERAL PRESS

  6 Copy quote

• You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

  Mark Twain

  Life, Inspiring, Meaningful

  Mark Twain (1889). “A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court”, p.422, Createspace Independent Pub

  87 Copy quote

• Those that respect the law and love sausage should watch neither being made.

  Mark Twain

  Love, Law, Watches

  64 Copy quote
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  When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.

  Mark Twain

  Love, Marriage, Wisdom

  Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.126, Courier Corporation

  116 Copy quote

• It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.

  Mark Twain

  Inspirational, Family, Crazy

  Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.180, Courier Corporation

  30 Copy quote

• To lodge all power in one party and keep it there is to insure bad government and the sure and gradual deterioration of the public morals.

  Mark Twain

  Graduation, Party, Power

  Mark Twain (2012). “Autobiography of Mark Twain: Volume 1, Reader’s Edition”, p.169, Univ of California Press

  78 Copy quote

• Nature knows no indecencies; man invents them.

  Mark Twain

  Nature, Men, Chastity

  Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.320, Courier Corporation

  44 Copy quote

• Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.

  Mark Twain

  Truth, Science, Fiction

  Following the Equator ch. 15, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar" (1897) See Byron 33; Chesterton 6

  109 Copy quote

• Enthusiasm is caught, not taught.

  Mark Twain

  Leadership, Enthusiasm, Taught

  37 Copy quote

• An adventure is something that while it's happening you wish it wasn't.

  Mark Twain

  Adventure, Wish, Happenings

  6 Copy quote

• Recipe for a long life: Only smoke while awake. Only run when being chased.

  Mark Twain

  Running, Long, Recipes

  6 Copy quote
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  Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Cute, God

  Mark Twain (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Mark Twain (Illustrated)”, p.9262, Delphi Classics

  114 Copy quote

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