P. J. O'Rourke Quotes - Page 2

Quotes about:

• The whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and not pay for it.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Government, Ideas, People

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government”, p.232, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

  14 Copy quote

• Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Inspirational, Funny, Witty

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “The Enemies List”, p.7, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

  42 Copy quote

• Microeconomics is about money you don't have, and macroeconomics is about money the government is out of.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Government, Macroeconomics, Microeconomics

  P. J. O'Rourke (2011). “Eat the Rich: A Treatise on Economics”, p.74, Pan Macmillan

  24 Copy quote

• The principal feature of American liberalism is sanctimoniousness. By loudly denouncing all bad things — war and hunger and date rape — liberals testify to their own terrific goodness. More important, they promote themselves to membership in a self-selecting elite of those who care deeply about such things.... It's a kind of natural aristocracy, and the wonderful thing about this aristocracy is that you don't have to be brave, smart, strong or even lucky to join it, you just have to be liberal.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Strong, War, Smart

  "Give War a Chance". Book by P. J. O'Rourke, 1992.

  8 Copy quote

• If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Inspirational, Humor, Thinking

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Age and Guile Beat Youth, Innocence, and a Bad Haircut”, p.228, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

  17 Copy quote

• The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Witty, Government, Political

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government”, p.14, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

  11 Copy quote

• Term limits aren't enough. We need jail.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Jail, Needs, Term Limits

  "The Liberty Manifesto". Speech at the opening of the Cato Institute's headquarters in Washington, D.C., www.cato.org. May 06, 1993.

  26 Copy quote

• A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Life, Government, Political

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government”, p.25, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

  16 Copy quote

• Politicians are wonderful people as longa as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  People, Wonderful, Politician

  4 Copy quote

• You know, if government were a product, selling it would be illegal. Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more people than cigarettes or unbuckled seat belts ever have.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Government, People, Liberty

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Age and Guile Beat Youth, Innocence, and a Bad Haircut”, p.228, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

  22 Copy quote

• Never wear anything that panics the cat.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Fun, Cat, Animal

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People”, p.12, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

  13 Copy quote

• Collectivism doesn't work because it's based on a faulty economic premise. There is no such thing as a person's "fair share" of wealth. The gross national product is not a pizza that must be carefully divided because if I get too many slices, you have to eat the box. The economy is expandable and, in any practical sense, limitless.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Liberty, Libertarian, Wealth

  10 Copy quote

• Poverty can't be eliminated by punishing people who've escaped poverty.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  People, Poverty, Perdition

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “All the Trouble in the World: The Lighter Side of Overpopulation, Famine, Ecological Disaster, Ethnic Hatred, Plague, and Poverty”, p.15, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

  11 Copy quote

• Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Drinking, Ignorance, Stupid People

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Give War a Chance: Eyewitness Accounts of Mankind's Struggle Against Tyranny, Injustice, and Alcohol-Free Beer”, p.110, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

  49 Copy quote

• One of the annoying things about believing in free will and individual responsibility is the difficulty of finding somebody to blame your problems on. And when you do find somebody, it's remarkable how often his picture turns up on your driver's license.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Inspirational, Believe, Responsibility

  "Housewives, Sure, but What Makes Them Real?" by Neil Genzlinger, www.nytimes.com. May 15, 2011.

  14 Copy quote

• Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race. All through history, mankind has been bullied by scum. Those who lord it over their fellows and toss commands in every direction and would boss the grass in the meadow about which way to bend in the wind are the most depraved kind of prostitutes. They will submit to any indignity, perform any vile act, do anything to achieve power. The worst off-sloughings of the planet are the ingredients of sovereignty. Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy the whores are us.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Race, Government, Wind

  P.J. O'Rourke (2015). “Thrown Under the Omnibus”, p.253, Atlantic Books Ltd

  9 Copy quote

• When a thing defies physical law, there's usually politics involved.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Law, Involved

  P.J. O'Rourke (2015). “Thrown Under the Omnibus”, p.361, Atlantic Books Ltd

  5 Copy quote

• Although computer-generated artificial intelligence eludes us, artificial stupidity has been perfected.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Elude Us, Stupidity, Computer

  P. J. O'Rourke (2011). “Holidays in Heck”, p.57, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

  6 Copy quote

• The idea of a news broadcast once was to find someone with information and broadcast it. The idea now is to find someone with ignorance and spread it around.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Ignorance, Ideas, News

  P.J. O'Rourke (2009). “Peace Kills”, p.60, Atlantic Books Ltd

  16 Copy quote

• A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something brussel sprouts never do.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Funny, Food, Wine

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “The Bachelor Home Companion: A Practical Guide to Keeping House Like a Pig”, p.57, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

  59 Copy quote

• In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Death, Failure, Character

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government”, p.74, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

  23 Copy quote

• Whatever the occasion, do not neglect alcohol. No other refreshment will do. Yes, alcohol kills brain cells, but it's very selective. It only kills the brain cells that contain good sense, shame, embarrassment, and restraint.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Funny, Humorous, Drinking

  P.J. O'Rourke (2015). “Thrown Under the Omnibus”, p.42, Atlantic Books Ltd

  6 Copy quote

• Politics is the business of getting power and privilege without possessing merit

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Privilege, Merit, Possessing

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “All the Trouble in the World: The Lighter Side of Overpopulation, Famine, Ecological Disaster, Ethnic Hatred, Plague, and Poverty”, p.12, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

  9 Copy quote

• The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and we can fix that."

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Funny, Humorous, Party

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government”, p.30, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

  5 Copy quote

• You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Family, Children, Growing Up

  12 Copy quote

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