Conan O'Brien Quotes - Page 8

Quotes about:

• Spread your hate. It'll last a lifetime.

  Conan O'Brien

  Hate, Lasts, Lifetime

  4 Copy quote

• NBC announced that during the summer Olympics they will set a new record by airing over 1200 hours of coverage. Which is amazing because that's 10 hours longer than the coverage of Reagan's funeral.

  Conan O'Brien

  Summer, Nbc, Funeral

  4 Copy quote

• Earlier today, John McCain was in the news. John McCain gave his first press conference since the election. And he said, 'For a lot of people, Sarah Palin was an energizing factor during the campaign.' Unfortunately for McCain, those people are called Democrats.

  Conan O'Brien

  People, Campaigns, News

  4 Copy quote

• Texas senator and tea party favorite Ted Cruz announced he's running for president. He pledged to lead America boldly forward into the 1950s.

  Conan O'Brien

  Running, Party, Texas

  4 Copy quote

• It's rumored that Arnold Schwarzenegger's son is cheating on his girlfriend Miley Cyrus. After hearing about it Arnold said, 'That's my boy.'

  Conan O'Brien

  Cheating, Girlfriend, Son

  4 Copy quote

• Indiana's governor is coming under fire for a new law that some people feel is anti-gay. The governor now says he is not anti-gay. Then immediately afterwards he said, 'April Fools.' It wasn't his best joke.

  Conan O'Brien

  Gay, Fire, Law

  4 Copy quote

• Santa will be showing up with Rudolph the Red-Eyed Reindeer.

  Conan O'Brien

  Rudolph, Santa, Reindeer

  40 Copy quote

• President Bush got an early Christmas gift. This week, President Bush was chosen as 'Person of the Year' by Time magazine. Not only that, Martha Stewart was chosen as person of the year by Doing Time magazine.

  Conan O'Brien

  Years, President, Magazines

  4 Copy quote

• Earlier today, the jury at the Martha Stewart trial reached a verdict. Martha was found guilty on all charges. In a related story, there's a huge sale at K-Mart.

  Conan O'Brien

  Stories, Trials, Today

  4 Copy quote

• People all over the world now are following our election. And according to a new international poll that just came out, I think this came out a few hours ago, this is true, people in Canada want Barack Obama to be the next U.S. president. That's what they're saying. In Canada, yeah. That makes sense, because Obama has the support of Canada's anti-war voters, as well as Canada's black guy. He is very excited.

  Conan O'Brien

  War, Thinking, People

  4 Copy quote

• In the Year 2000 due to the declining number of champions in the world, Wheaties will change its slogan to 'Breakfast of Sexual Deviants.

  Conan O'Brien

  Years, Numbers, Champion

  4 Copy quote

• Playboy magazine announced that they are going to support the troops by sending them emails from Playboy playmates. After hearing this the U.S. troops said 'Just our luck, we get emails from playmates, but we're embedded with Geraldo.'

  Conan O'Brien

  Support, Luck, Hearing

  4 Copy quote

• Tom Ridge announced a new color-coded alarm system. ... Green means everything's okay. Red means we're in extreme danger. And champagne-fuschia means we're being attacked by Martha Stewart.

  Conan O'Brien

  Mean, Color, Green

  4 Copy quote

• People looking into Barack Obama's campaign contributions say that Obama may have received $3.3 million from abroad. Yeah. It turns out that broad is Oprah Winfrey.

  Conan O'Brien

  People, Campaigns, May

  4 Copy quote

• All the major networks declared Barack Obama the winner at 11 last night, except for MSNBC, which declared Obama the winner six months ago.

  Conan O'Brien

  Night, Six Months, Lasts

  4 Copy quote

• This is serious, if Martha gets the maximum sentence on all counts, she could serve 20 years in prison. Of course, you have to take off time off for good behavior, which means 20 years in prison.

  Conan O'Brien

  Mean, Years, Serious

  "This Week's 'The List' -- Martha Guilty", abcnews.go.com.

  4 Copy quote

• Yesterday, Attorney General John Ashcroft had surgery to remove his gall bladder. Doctors say the surgery was difficult because Ashcroft refused to take his clothes off.

  Conan O'Brien

  Doctors, Clothes, Yesterday

  4 Copy quote

• When reached for comment on the charges, Martha didn't say much, (only) that a subpoena should be served with a nice appetizer.

  Conan O'Brien

  Nice, Subpoenas, Should

  8 Copy quote

• In New York the other day, there was a pro-Martha Stewart rally. Only four people showed up ... and three of them were made out of crepe paper!

  Conan O'Brien

  New York, People, Three

  4 Copy quote

• Hillary Clinton is making income inequality a central theme in her campaign. Yeah, for example, today she pointed out that her husband makes $300 million a year. She has to get by on $200 million a year, and that's not fair.

  Conan O'Brien

  Husband, Years, Example

  4 Copy quote

• It has become cliché to say I laughed until I cried, but when I'm done reading one of [Kupperman's] underground comics my shirt is literally soaking wet. This guy may have one of the best comedy brains on the planet right now.

  Conan O'Brien

  Reading, Guy, Brain

  4 Copy quote

• On a trip to Israel, Sarah Palin asked the Israelis why they're apologizing all the time. They responded saying, 'Because we told everyone Tina Fey was coming.'

  Conan O'Brien

  Israel, Fey, Apologizing

  5 Copy quote

• Possible controversy for the Obama campaign. Republicans are now accusing Barack Obama's campaign of voter fraud, because some of the people they've registered sound like they have fake names. Apparently, the fakest-sounding name is Barack Obama.

  Conan O'Brien

  Names, People, Fake

  4 Copy quote

• Mexico is offering a $3.8 million reward for information leading to the capture of the escaped billionaire drug lord, El Chapo. Mexico said they'll get the money by borrowing it from El Chapo.

  Conan O'Brien

  Offering, Drug, Mexico

  4 Copy quote

• Political analysts are saying that as a candidate, Donald Trump is 'a totally unqualified nuisance.' In other words, he is a legitimate contender for the Republican nomination.

  Conan O'Brien

  Political, Nuisance, Unqualified

  4 Copy quote

Page 8 of 19

First

← Prev

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

11

12

Next →

• facebook
• twitter
• googleplus
• email
• linkedin