There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
As I may or may not say to the Lord on Judgment Day, "You ask a lot of questions for someone who has so much explaining to do"
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
There is nothing stronger in the world than gentleness.
I can resist everything except temptation.
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
It is terribly amusing how many different climates of feelings one can go through in one day.
You should always go to other people's funerals, otherwise, they won't come to yours.
My grandfather once told me that there were two kinds of people: those who do the work and those who take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was much less competition.
Creative minds have always been known to survive any kind of bad training.
Experience is the name so many people give to their mistakes.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.
Government 'help' to business is just as disastrous as government persecution... the only way a government can be of service to national prosperity is by keeping its hands off.
I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.
Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies.
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.
It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
Swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting.
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
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