Money isn't the most important thing in life, but it's reasonably close to oxygen on the 'gotta have it' scale.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
No matter how hard you hug your money, it never hugs back.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.
Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time.
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is.
I've been rich and I've been poor. Rich is better.
Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did
I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons.
I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.
What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man's lifetime income - which he then spends sending his son to college.
Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress people they don't like.
If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.
Congratulations on your job at the bank! Yes. You work for the bank. After taxes, your largest expense is your mortgage and credit-card debt.
Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
Money doesn't change you; it reveals who you are when you no longer have to be nice.
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