I have a time machine at home. It only goes forward at regular speed
I have a jar at home, and I put pennies in it whenever I curse. The other day I spilled the jar. I owe it about $25.
A mobile home with a flat tire is a home.
Now I got a time machine at home. It only goes foreword at regular speed. It's essentially a cardboard box and on the outside I wrote time machine in sharpie.
I love having an open seat next to me on the train. What's even better is when my seat is open too because I just stayed home.
Surprise parties are strange 'cause people jump up and they yell the word, 'surprise' at the party. I came home and you emerged from my furniture. You don't have to tell me how to feel. I don't need a hint.
For example, I was a White House intern the summer before I dropped out of law school. Everybody knew about it. I'd come home and go to church and everybody would say, oh, my God. Demetri, you're working at the White House.
Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Every day we present the best quotes! Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends
or simply: