Customs is punishment for those who travel. This will teach you for traveling to our country!
I used to think it was corny to be in love but actually it's corny to lose an awesome woman! Real talk.
I am not a model the camera just went off by itself
You know, the energy I think I was just born with. I think I was just always like that as I kid; I was always real energetic.
My black friends in America don't believe me. I said, 'Dude, I'm Nigerian American.' 'Word? We thought you were, like, regular black.' What the hell is 'regular black'? Crayola coming out with colors I don't know about?
I think that sometimes I've been a little too nice. I think you have to have a balance. When you're too nice people take you for granted, they take you for a fool I think.
I wish people would understand that comedy is an art form, and that the same thing that makes a Picasso painting is the same thing that gives Bill Cosby the ability to do an hour of comedy on his kids.
I observe everything around me and when something hits me and it's funny, that's what I talk about. I'm a more observational kind of comic.
Immigrants have been coming here for a long time. The Americans that are afraid of others coming were immigrants once themselves, so they have a lot of nerve. We have a lot of nerve as a country. The only people that should have xenophobia are Native Americans. Everyone else should shut up.
When my woman kisses me I start dancing like James Brown. Ow! I Feel Good!
I can always create new material. That's something I can control.
I'm still trying to understand the wearing off high heels at the airport.
The one thing you don't want to be is a sucky clean comic. I hate sucky clean comics! It's like Christian rock, bro. I'd rather listen to gospel and Christian rock. That's cheating!
I love when they show the really gay prisoner in prison shows. He's the cutest inside but you know on the street he would be the ugliest.
Be happy with your stereotype. Asians - that's the stereotype I want. Being the smartest person in the world? You're the smartest, what are you complaining about? You know what I get? 'Wassup?
The X-Games - I watch that; I'm not impressed. That's white dudes' desperation. They're running out of sports. They gotta find something that black dudes won't touch.
But some people want attention so bad they want you to see them angry at you.
I went to University of Illinois. Big school. 35,000 students. 800 black... I was the only black in every class. Hard to be absent.
Want to shut a racist white guy's mouth. Put him around Super human athletic black dudes.
Tell your girlfriend or wife you love them everyday. Like I do!
I think there are people living in Walmart dressed up as employees.
I think the audience should take away that it's okay to be smart, it's okay to be funny and well-learned. You can be from academia and be funny; you don't have to be an idiot.
I use profanity because I like profanity, but I'm not vulgar. Big difference. I love profanity because I really think profanity is cool.
You've got to keep moving, keep creating.
You know what the bodega is? It's the little Latin store, and they try to act like it's a grocery store. It has two aisles. And the guy, he always tries to help me, 'You looking for the bread?' I was like, 'Dude, I can see it right here, alright.' He's like, 'Hey, hey, it's in aisle two.' That's all you got, what are you talking about?
Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Every day we present the best quotes! Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends
or simply: