People are always neglecting something they can do in trying to do something they can't do.
Farmers only worry during the growing season, but townspeople worry all the time.
Nearly every lawsuit is an insult to the intelligence of both plaintiff and defendant.
We are not free, it was not intended we should be. A book of rules is placed in our cradle, and we never get rid of it until we reach our graves. Then we are free, and only then.
Indignation does no good unless it is backed with a club of sufficient size to awe the opposition.
You can't do anything unless you do it yourself. And usually you can't do it yourself very well.
A poem is no place for an idea.
About all some men accomplish in life is to send a son to Harvard.
The sounder your argument, the more satisfaction you get out of it.
The underdog often starts the fight, and occasionally the upper dog deserves to win.
Most people have seen worse things in private than they pretend to be shocked at in public.
It is your enemies who keep you straight. For real use one active, sneering enemy is worth two ordinary friends.
What is common sense? That which attracts the least opposition that which brings most agreeable and worthy results.
A loafer never works except when there is a fire; then he will carry out more furniture than anybody.
No scheme pays as well as legitimate business.
A women could never be President. A condidate must be over 35, and where are you going to find a woman who will admit she's over 35?
Most of us are either too think to enjoy eating, or too fat to enjoy walking.
Men are virtuous because women are; women are virtuous from necessity.
Express a mean opinion of yourself occasionally; it will show your friends that you know how to tell the truth.
When you can't do anything else to a boy, you can make him wash his face.
When I get hold of a book I particularly admire, I am so enthusiastic that I loan it to someone who never brings it back.
Reading is like permitting a man to talk a long time, and refusing you the right to answer.
Nothing tires a man more than to be grateful all the time.
I believe in grumbling; it is the politest form of fighting known.
Honesty is largely a matter of information, of knowing that dishonesty is a mistake. Principle is not as powerful in keeping people straight as a policeman.
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