Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career.
The only time to believe any kind of rating is when it shows you at the top.
Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn't know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He's always had an agent for that.
If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.
I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.
In his prime, the young comic walked onto a stage with the confidence of a man who owned it, and by the time he walked off, he did.
Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I've never heard of a clean one.
She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn't understand us at all.
I left England when I was four because I found out I could never be King.
I like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that I'll stay in the bar!
Today's ballroom dances like the swim, the frug, the chicken and the monkey are really nervous disorders set to music.
Jack Benny really liked my book. I know because he called me up from the library and told me.
Free speech isn't dead in Germany and Italy, merely the speakers.
I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.
England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there.
Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.
The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.
Every Naval vessel has a contingent of Marines aboard. After all, the Sailors have to have someone to dance with.
At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.
A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
Democrats have an answer to the unemployment problem. They're all running for the Presidency.
My folks were English. They were too poor to be British. I still have a bit of British in me. In fact, my blood type is solid marmalade.
I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money.
To give you an idea of how fast we travelled - we left with two rabbits and when we arrived we still had only two.
My old friend Jack Benny has only had one ball all his golfing life. And now he's lost it. The string came off!
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