When I put my big retrospective together in '96 [for the Whitney Museum of American Art, New York], I saw that there were all these pictures of people inside looking out. All these pictures of women in water and mirrors. I don't know what it means.
I'm very much interested in water and women in water. I've been photographing that for years although I didn't really know it at the time.
I usually work really instinctively and it's afterwards that I think about what it means. I don't know consciously that I have these themes that run through my work.
The only time I went out was to go to bars at night and all the pictures were taken with a flash because there was no light at all. However now I'm very interested in light.
Usually people just do their own work. But I want to deal with the place and what it means to show in a mental hospital.
I've become really interested in the landscape but not as landscape but more as it relates to mood and how we live and how the outside impacts on the inside. I didn't really look at the outside world during the years I was photographing the Ballad as I was locked inside my house and I lived totally inside.
One of the major things I really want to work on now is female rage because that's not dealt with at all - and I have a lot of it.
I think it killed my sister as the times she was living in were so conformist. This is a subject I really want to deal with. I want to start making films about female rage.
When I started photographing my boyfriend of years ago, Brian, I realised I had no right to photograph other people having sex if I wasn't prepared to take them of myself too
If I say something honestly, generally, I am being completely honest and don't tell me I am lying. It drives me crazy to be told I set up my pictures. How does it benefit me to lie? I guess they are afraid to believe it and are afraid to look at it.
Of course I was wearing make-up, I never went anywhere without red lipstick for 25 years! It was a form of self-preservation for me to continue to wear lipstick even though my face was broken.
There are ways of angling the camera. I don't just use a tripod. The only time I did that was in '88 when I first came out of detox, I spent every day doing self-portraits to fit back into my own skin. I didn't know what the world looked like - what I looked like - so in order to fit back into myself, I took self-portraits everyday to give myself courage and to fit the pieces back together. I used a tripod then.
I was recently interviewed for radio in relation to the "Thanksgiving" show [2001] at the Saatchi gallery that I was part of. The interviewer said that people in London were very disturbed that I showed a picture of myself battered ("Nan One Month after Being Battered", 1984) and they thought that I set it up. I was accused of deliberately putting on a wig for that particular picture.
The thing that drives me most crazy in the world is not to be believed.
[I influenced by ]the work of early [Michelangelo] Antonioni, Orson Welles and [Carlo] Pasolini, I love [Nicolas Jack] Roeg's film "Performance".
I love all the Hollywood women. I saw all the films when I was a teenager. Jack Smith's "Flaming Creatures".
[John] Cassavetes, "Killing of a Chinese Booker", "Opening Night" are my favourites.
Gena Rowlands is fabulous.
That's where I got the idea to paint the walls of the gallery with varied colours [at the Whitechapel show]. I tried to figure out how all these Renaissance paintings manage to work together.
I start to paint my walls. And I'm heavily influenced by films.
As a non-Catholic, and since I was a child, I have been obsessed with the ritual and the beauty of Catholic art. I look at Renaissance art all the time.
No Jews have our own guilt, that's why we have psychiatrists - the Jewish version of a priest.
I have the freedom of seeing it [churches and paintings of saints] with a non-Catholic eye without the guilt.
I'm very influenced by a lot of things, but my chief influence is my friends and what I see and what I feel and my own experiences and memory.
The things that I look at include Renaissance art. I'm obsessed with churches and paintings of saints.
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