Scott Adams Funny Quotes

Quotes about: Funny

• If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

  Scott Adams

  Funny, Smart, Stupid

• I wish I were dumber so I could be more certain about my opinions. It looks fun.

  Scott Adams

  Funny, Stupidity, Dumb

• The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.

  Scott Adams

  Funny, Business, Work

  Wall Street Journal, 22 May 1995 See Peter 1

• No matter how many times I visit New York City, I am always struck by the same thing - a yellow taxicab.

  Scott Adams

  Funny, Travel, New York

• I never knew what an engineer did for a living when I was a kid. I still don't.

  Scott Adams

  Funny, Hilarious, Witty

• As a fan, I'm distraught, but as a cartoonist looking at new vacant spaces in 2400 newspapers, well, behind me, my cats are dancing a conga line.

  Scott Adams

  Funny, Humor, Cat

• Crackpot is an excellent job because the expectations are so low. No one ever tells crackpots that they should be doing more.

  Scott Adams

  Funny, Jobs, Expectations

• You're thinking I'm one of those wise-ass California vegetarians who is going to tell you that eating a few strips of bacon is bad for your health. I'm not. I say its a free country and you should be able to kill yourself at any rate you choose, as long as your cold dead body is not blocking my driveway.

  Scott Adams

  Funny, Wise, Country

• In Japan, employees occasionally work themselves to death. It’s called Karoshi. I don’t want that to happen to anybody in my department. The trick is to take a break as soon as you see a bright light and hear dead relatives beckon.

  Scott Adams

  Funny, Death, Work

  Scott Adams (1996). “The Dilbert principle: a cubicle's-eye view of bosses, meetings, management fads & other workplace afflictions”

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