Witty Quotes - Page 3

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  To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.

  Oscar Wilde

  Inspirational, Life, Motivational

  "The Soul of Man Under Socialism" (1891)

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• We are masters of the unsaid words, but slaves of those we let slip out.

  Winston Churchill

  Life, Inspiring, Humorous

  "Words of Wisdom: Winston Churchil"l, Students' Academy, Lulu Press, Section Three, 2014.

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• Why do they call it "rush hour" when nothing moves?

  Robin Williams

  Funny, Humorous, Moving

  "Fictional character: Mork". "Mork & Mindy/ Mork in Love", www.imdb.com. 1978.

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  I have never killed any one, but I have read some obituary notices with great satisfaction.

  Clarence Darrow

  Life, Death, Sarcastic

  "The Story of My Life". Book by Clarence Darrow, 1932.

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• Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

  Groucho Marx

  Love, Funny, Crazy

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• How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Marriage, Valentines Day

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  Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

  George Carlin

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  "Carlin on Campus". Documentary, Comedy, 1984.

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• Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

  Mark Twain

  Inspirational, Funny, Sarcastic

  Quoted in More Maxims of Mark, ed. Merle Johnson (1927)

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• He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.

  Hector Hugh Munro

  Funny, Sarcastic, Powerful

  Beasts and Super-Beasts (1914) "The Feast of Nemesis"

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• What matters most is that we learn from living.

  Doris Lessing

  Life, What Matters, Matter

  "Permission to Play: Taking Time to Renew Your Smile". Book by Jill Murphy Long, 2003.

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• 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?

  George Carlin

  Funny, Marriage, Sarcastic

  56 Copy quote

• I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

  W. C. Fields

  Funny, Drinking, Food

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• Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

  Ashleigh Brilliant

  Life, Sarcastic, Wisdom

  46 Copy quote

• Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Being Yourself, Truth

  Intentions "The Critic as Artist" pt. 2 (1891)

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• It is better to be quotable than to be honest.

  Tom Stoppard

  Truth, Honesty, Humorous

  Tom Stoppard, Paul Delaney (1994). “Tom Stoppard in Conversation”, p.49, University of Michigan Press

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• The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.

  Tom Clancy

  Life, Truth, Humorous

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.

  Robert Frost

  Inspirational, Life, Motivational

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• A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.

  Friedrich Nietzsche

  Funny, Faith, Crazy

  "The Antichrist". Book by Friedrich Nietzsche, 1888.

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  Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.

  Carl Jung

  Funny, Depression, Crazy

  Quoted in the Observer, 19 Jul 1975.

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• I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.

  Agatha Christie

  Inspirational, Life, Happiness

  Agatha Christie (1991). “Agatha Christie: An Autobiography”, Berkley Publishing Group

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• Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.

  Oscar Wilde

  Love, Funny, Relationship

  Oscar Wilde (2010). “Epigrams & Aphorisms”, p.56, BoD – Books on Demand

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• Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Life, Money

  Oscar Wilde (1947). “The Happy Prince”, p.16, New Line Publishing

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• That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.

  Dorothy Parker

  Inspirational, Funny, Hilarious

  Quoted in AlexanderWoollcott, While Rome Burns (1934)

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• A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.

  Zsa Zsa Gabor

  Love, Funny, Marriage

  In Newsweek 28 Mar. 1960, p. 89

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• In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

  George Carlin

  Funny, Firsts, Speak

  George Carlin (1998). “Brain Droppings”, Hyperion

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