Finley Peter Dunne Quotes

Quotes about:

• Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

  Finley Peter Dunne

  Trust, Cutting, Father Son

  Finley Peter Dunne (1963). “Mr. Dooley remembers: the informal memoirs of Finley Peter Dunne”

  64 Copy quote

• The past always looks better than it was;
  it's only pleasant because it isn't here.

  Finley Peter Dunne

  Time, Past, Emotional

  23 Copy quote

• That is, no matther whether th' constitution follows th' flag or not, th' supreme coort follows th' iliction returns.

  Finley Peter Dunne

  Flags, Return, Constitution

  Finley Peter Dunne (1963). “Mr. Dooley on Ivryting and Ivrybody”, Dover Publications

  16 Copy quote

• Stories are meant to comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.

  Finley Peter Dunne

  Comfort, Stories, Inherit The Wind

  11 Copy quote

• A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.

  Finley Peter Dunne

  Men, Thinking, Facts

  27 Copy quote

• No, sir, th' dimmycratic party ain't on speakin' terms with itsilf. Whin ye see two men with white neckties go into a sthreet car an' set in opposite corners while wan mutthers Thraiter an' th' other hisses Miscreent ye can bet they're two dimmycratic leaders thryin' to reunite th' gran' ol' party.

  Finley Peter Dunne

  Party, Men, White

  "Mr. Dooley Discusses Party Prospects" (1901)

  22 Copy quote

• The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.

  Finley Peter Dunne

  Funny, Marriage, Husband

  11 Copy quote

• Drink never made a man better, but it has made many a man think he was better.

  Finley Peter Dunne

  Men, Thinking, Drink

  5 Copy quote

• I wonder why you can always read a doctor's bill and you can never read his prescription.

  Finley Peter Dunne

  Get Well Soon, Doctors, Modern Life

  9 Copy quote

• Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed by the facts.

  Finley Peter Dunne

  Food, Drinking, Beer

  11 Copy quote

• I niver knew a pollytician to go wrong ontil he's been contaminated by contact with a business man.

  Finley Peter Dunne

  Business, Men, Contact

  13 Copy quote

• It is more comfortable to feel that we are a slight improvement on a monkey than such a fallin' off from the angels.

  Finley Peter Dunne

  Angel, Humanity, Monkeys

  9 Copy quote

• It [Thanksgiving] was founded by the Puritans to give thanks for bein' preserved from the Indians, an' we keep it to give thanks we are preserved from the Puritans.

  Finley Peter Dunne

  Food, Giving, Thanks

  5 Copy quote

• A man that'd expict to thrain lobsters to fly in a year is called a loonytic; but a man that thinks men can be tur-rned into angels by an iliction is called a rayformer an' remains at large.

  Finley Peter Dunne

  Angel, Men, Thinking

  Mr. Dooley's Philosophy "Casual Observations" (1900)

  9 Copy quote

• Work is work if you're paid to do it, and it's a pleasure if you pay to be allowed to do it.

  Finley Peter Dunne

  Work, Pay, Pleasure

  5 Copy quote

• High finance isn't burglary or obtaining money by false pretenses, but rather a judicious selection from the best features of those fine arts.

  Finley Peter Dunne

  Art, Finance, Burglary

  9 Copy quote

• Freedom is like drink. If you take any at all, you might as well take enough to make you happy for a while.

  Finley Peter Dunne

  Might, Drink, Enough

  6 Copy quote

• The world is not growing worse and it is not growing better - it is just turning around as usual.

  Finley Peter Dunne

  Growing, Usual, World

  11 Copy quote

• What is instinct? It is the natural tendency in one when filled with dismay to turn to his wife.

  Finley Peter Dunne

  Marriage, Wife, Natural

  14 Copy quote

• Most vegetarians I ever see looked enough like their food to be classed as cannibals.

  Finley Peter Dunne

  Food, Vegetarian, Enough

  Mr. Dooley's Philosophy "Casual Observations" (1900)

  9 Copy quote

• To most people a savage nation is wan that doesn't wear oncomf'rtable clothes.

  Finley Peter Dunne

  Clothes, People, Savages

  Finley Peter Dunne (1901). “Mr. Dooley's Philosophy”, p.145, Library of Alexandria

  4 Copy quote

• Opportunity knocks at every man's door once. On some men's door it hammers till it breaks down the door and then it goes in and wakes him up if he's asleep, and ever afterward it works for him as a night watchman.

  Finley Peter Dunne

  Opportunity, Night, Men

  7 Copy quote

• An appeal is when you ask one court to show its contempt for another court.

  Finley Peter Dunne

  Sarcastic, Sarcasm, Court

  14 Copy quote

• When the American people get through with the English language, it will look as if it had been run over by a musical comedy.

  Finley Peter Dunne

  Running, People, Musical

  8 Copy quote

• Swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting.

  Finley Peter Dunne

  Funny, Running, Witty

  21 Copy quote

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