Incompetence plus incompetence equals incompetence.
Reality is for people who can't face drugs.
There are some men who in a fifty-fifty proposition insist on getting the hyphen too.
Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.
You shouldn't punish others for your own choices.
Humility is the embarrassment you feel when you tell people how wonderful you are.
Everyone is in awe of the lion tamer in a cage with half a dozen lions-everyone but a school bus driver.
Fools rush in where wise men fear to trade.
Many an optimist has become rich simply by buying out a pessimist.
Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.
Would the boy you were be proud of the man you are?
It usually takes two people to make one of them angry.
A free press is one that prints a dictator's speech but doesn't have to.
We hate to have some people give us advice because we know how badly they need it themselves.
If the outcome is good, what's the difference between motives that sound good and good, sound motives?
The best intelligence test is what we do with our leisure.
When I want your opinion I'll give it to you.
You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.
Middle age is when you stop criticizing the older generation and start criticizing the younger one.
There are more pretty photographs of women than there are photographs of pretty women.
It's better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week.
An optimist expects his dreams to come true; a pessimist expects his nightmares to.
If at first you don't succeed, you may be at your level of incompetence already.
We are members of a strange species that devotes its energies to climbing the ladder of success in order to make money to buy things we don't like.
Men now monopolize the upper levels... depriving women of their rightful share of opportunities for incompetence.
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