If there's anything a public servant hates to do it's something for the public.
Some folks can look so busy doing nothing that they seem indispensable.
There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it?
Bargain... anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on.
Executive: a man who makes quick decisions and is sometimes right.
The less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.
Some folks seem to have descended from the chimpanzee much later than others.
Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn't have as many monuments to unveil.
There's another advantage to being poor - a doctor will cure you faster.
One of the commonest mistakes is thinking your worries are over when your children get married.
It's what a fellow thinks he knows that hurts him.
In order to live off a garden, you practically have to live in it.
The hardest thing is writing a recommendation for someone we know.
If the government was as afraid of disturbing the consumer as it is of disturbing business, this would be some democracy.
A never-failing way to get rid of a fellow is to tell him something for his own good.
Some fellows get credit for being conservative when they are only stupid.
Beauty is . . . a valuable asset if you're poor or haven't any sense.
Washing your car and polishing it all up is a never failing sign of rain.
I never saw an athletic girl that thought she was strong enough to do indoor work.
Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Weep, an' it keeps on laughin'.
Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.
The worst waste of breath, next to playing a saxophone, is advising a son
"Why doesn't the fellow who says, "I'm no speechmaker," let it go at that instead of giving a demonstration? "
There isn't much to be seen in a little town, but what you hear makes up for it.
Live so that you can at least get the benefit of the doubt.
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