Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
PUSH, n. One of the two things mainly conducive to success, especially in politics. The other is Pull.
OBLIVION, n. Cold storage for high hopes. A place where ambitious authors meet their works without pride and their betters without envy. A dormitory without an alarm clock.
KISS, n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss." It is supposed to signify, in a general way, some kind of rite or ceremony appertaining to a good understanding; but the manner of its performance is unknown to this lexicographer.
PALMISTRY, n. The 947th method . . . of obtaining money by false pretences [by] "reading character" in the wrinkles [of] the hand. The pretence is not altogether false. . . for the wrinkles in every hand submitted plainly spell the word "dupe."
INTERPRETER, n. One who enables two persons of different languages to understand each other by repeating to each what it would have been to the interpreter's advantage for the other to have said.
REBEL, n. A proponent of a new misrule who has failed to establish it.
COMPULSION, n. The eloquence of power.
We must stop chasing dollars, stop lying, stop cheating, stop ignoring art, literature, and all the refining agencies and instrumentalities of civilization.
PERORATION, n. The explosion of an oratorical rocket. It dazzles, but to an observer having the wrong kind of nose its most conspicuous peculiarity is the smell of the several kinds of powder used in preparing it.
REPORTER, n. A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.
Think twice before you speak to a friend in need
Male, A member of the unconsidered or negligible gender. The male of the human race is commonly known to the female as Mere Man. The Genus has two varieties: good providers and bad providers.
God alone knows the future, but only an historian can alter the past.
STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue.
Absence blots people out. We really have no absent friends.
Least said is soon disavowed.
TAKE, v.t. To acquire, frequently by force but preferably by stealth.
POSITIVISM- A philosophy that denies our knowledge of the Real and affirms our ignorance of the Apparent. Its longest exponent is Comte, its broadest Mill and its thickest Spencer.
DEINOTHERIUM, n. An extinct pachyderm that flourished when the Pterodactyl was in fashion. The latter was a native of Ireland, its name being pronounced Terry Dactyl or Peter O'Dactyl, as the man pronouncing it may chance to have heard it spoken or seen it printed.
A nation that will not enforce its laws has no claim to the respect and allegiance of its people.
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
Idiot, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling.
There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know.
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