I can never remember the name of anywhere I've ever been. I will say that I've eaten at a ton of GREAT places. I just don't remember their names. I'm not that guy.
Michael Keaton had a great, great career. I do remember when I was a young guy thinking about him, about how he'd had the chance to do it all, so yeah. But, there's nobody where I've said, "Man, I really want that guy's career."
I hope I'm not sitting on a bench in a retirement home talking about what was: "Oh, I worked with this guy and that guy." I hope I'm still doing it for a really long time.
I've always been in serious relationships. I meet someone and date him for a long period. I don't sit there thinking, like, 'I wonder if I can seduce that guy.' I have other things in my mind.
Who would name their kid Jack with the last words 'off' at the end of the last name? No wonder that guy is screwed up.
I still think of that guy I was without a wife or kids, and I still want to entertain that guy. The lonely guy, the frustrated guy, the guy with no money - this is the guy who needs to laugh.
It's been six years since I have had a drink and I have two girls, and my priorities are a lot different now and I just can't believe I was that guy. And I would not go back, I would not trade the way I am now for anything.
Where there seems to be a difference between guys being nuts and women being nuts is that guys are much more open in calling each other on stuff; lots of insults and dirty names. Whereas women will talk frankly and honesty, but there also seems to be more passive aggressiveness.
I thought what would be really just choice for a revamp and a reboot is 'The Greatest American Hero.' I think I'd be just that kind of perfect not prepared for this kind of thing, but thrust into circumstances he's not prepared for... that's another niche of mine. Unpreparedness. Not knowing what to do. I'm good at being that guy.
I'm naturally shy, so the social media thing is new to me. I haven't really figured out how my voice sounds on social media, you know? I don't want to tweet everyday just for the sake of tweeting. I want to make sure whatever I do there is honest. Social media can very quickly get fake, and I don't want to be that guy.
She can go with us to the lab and keep Myrnin pinned down while we pull the plug, if he's not... you know, better." "Define BETTER with that guy." "Not all fangs and raaaaar.
I didn't want to take the typical action roles that everybody was expecting me to take, because I was going to get typecast as that guy, the action guy who didn't have anything really bright to say and who just kicked in doors and punched people in the face and shot people and drove off in a cool car. I didn't want to be that guy.
Those blue eyes glinted with uncivilized suggestion. A faint smile was tucked in the corner of his wide mouth. Definitely wouldn't want to be alone in a room with that guy, I thought. His gaze moved downward in lazy inspection, returned to my face, and he gave me one of those respectful nods that Texan men had raised to an art form.
Guys care about sports teams. I'm not talking about simply rooting; I'm talking about a relationship that guys develop, a commitment to a sport team that guys take way more seriously than, for example, wedding vows.
So I'm not crazy after all! I thought it looked good myself once I cut it all off. Not one guy likes it, though. They all tell me I look like a first grader or a concentration camp survivor. What's this thing that guys have for girls with long hair? Fascists, the whole bunch of them! Why do guys all think girls with long hair are the classiest, the sweetest, the most feminine? I mean, I myself know at least two hundred and fifty unclassy girls with long hair. Really.
I ain't the same person I was when I bit that guy's ear off.
The wonderful thing about rock music is even if you hate the other person, sometimes you need him more, you know. In other words if he's the guy that made that sound, he's the guy that made that sound, and without that guy making that sound, you don't have a band, you know.
I was in high school when Will Ferrell was first on 'Saturday Night Live', and I remember thinking, 'Man, that guy is the funniest guy ever.'
You hear stories of intense actors who can't shed their character and who don't know who they are for a week or two after. I'm not that guy, man.
I don't want to be that guy mumbling into his drink at a bar.
The election moment is merely the American public saying, "We'd rather you be President than that guy." That's it.
You need that guy like a giraffe needs strep throat.
And there's a cop over there." "What?" the boy said, glancing at the D.C. police officer that stood at the corner of the street, "You think that guys can do a better job protecting you than I can?" Actually, I thought Liz could have done a better job "protecting" me than he could, but instead I said, "No, I think if you don't leave me alone, I can scream and that cop will arrest you." Somehow the boy seemed to know it was a joke.
I could be an alternative comic. I could be that really dark - I was - I was a very dark comic to begin with. I could be that guy, and the only reason I didn't is that I wanted to make money. I wanted to be popular. I wanted to be liked more than I wanted to be admired.
People see you onstage and, yeah, I'd want to be that guy.I want to be that guy myself very often.
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