One Time Quotes - Page 8

• One time I was at a swimming pool with my kids, a public pool. I had my daughter, my six year old, on my arm like this. She was like clamped on, and she's kicking. ... And then she got off and another random child just clamped on. It's like a rat. "Get off of me." "But I love you." "I don't know you, kid."

  Louis C. K.

  Funny, Daughter, Children

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• My mom and I were super close when I was a kid, her and I sort of ran off from her ex-husband. It wasn't such a good time for us and I remember listening to The Distillers with her. One time I actually asked her, 'Mom, can I shave my head into a mohawk?'

  Hayley Williams

  Mom, Husband, Kids

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• One time I stayed at a haunted motel. When I checked into my room, there was a sheet on the floor, and I thought it was a ghost that had passed out, so I kicked it.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Humor, Rooms

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• I've never been to a hotel with a rotating restaurant on top, but one time I took my girlfriend to a merry-go-round, and I gave her a burrito.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Girlfriend, Humor

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• One time I was forced to go to the doctors because of a sports accident. Herpes.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Sports, Humor

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• Everyday life inspires me, the situations that we all find ourselves in at one time or another.

  Mary Engelbreit

  Inspire, Everyday, Situation

  Source: blog.calendars.com

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• One time I had too many Heinekens and I googled myself and realized that that was a very, very bad combination.

  Ginnifer Goodwin

  Combination

  "Ginnifer Goodwin Tells Katie Couric, 'I Don't Have to Be Anorexic to Be a Leading Lady'". Interview with Katie Couric, www.glamour.com. May 31, 2011.

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• A guy said to me one time, something really profound, and it's so simple. It's that depression lies. It's a liar and you have to shut it down. There is nothing that alleviates it more than going out and doing something for someone else. It's almost like instant healing. Get away from yourself. People can't even get out of bed and it gets really severe. I've never been at that stage. Everyone goes through low and high and low and high and some people are blessed to be created on an even keel all the way through - but not me.

  Mel Gibson

  Liars, Lying, Blessed

  "Exclusive: Mel Gibson Finally Talks". Interview with Allison Hope Weiner, deadline.com. September 20, 2012.

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• I love the communication aspect with my athletes. I like the one on one time with my athletes but really its about making them better athletes and finding out what makes them tick.

  Robin Farina

  Communication, Athlete, Tick

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• Some guy came up to me with his kids, ages probably 10 and 12, and said that the reason he likes me is because he sat through an hour and twenty-minute show, and I didn't cuss one time. So it just really depends.

  Larry the Cable Guy

  Kids, Guy, Age

  Source: smashinginterviews.com

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• Well, a funny thing, there are three that I like all for the same reason, golf, fishing, and shooting, and I do because first, they take you into the fields. There is mild exercise, the kind that an older individual probably should have. And on top of it, it induces you to take at any one time 2 or 3 hours, if you can, where you are thinking of the bird or that ball or the wily trout. Now, to my mind it is a very healthful, beneficial kind of thing, and I do it whenever I get a chance, as you well know.

  Dwight D. Eisenhower

  Sports, Exercise, Golf

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• I'm sorry, was that homophobic? No--I think it was, 'cause I hear that a lot. Dave, What?, You're talking about being gay. You probably secretly are gay. And I'm like listen voice in my head, I'm not! HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU WOULDN'T LIKE IT? HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU WOULDN'T LIKE IT? I know I wouldn't like it, other scarier voice in my head! 'Cause one time while making a sandwich, a cucumber went up my ass. Three times.

  Dave Attell

  Funny, Sorry, Humor

  "Skanks for the Memories". Comedy album by Dave Attell, 2003.

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• And treating poetry as a performing art emphasizes its ephemerality. A printed poem can be endlessly reprinted, photocopied, scanned, uploaded, cut and pasted - but a performance, even if somebody's there with a video camera, is one time only: the audience experiences something that won't exist when the performance is over, and which won't ever be reproduced in exactly the same form. I find that appealing.

  James Arthur

  Art, Cutting, Cameras

  "Poetry As a Way of Thinking: An Interview with James Arthur". Interview with Emilia Phillips, www.32poems.com.

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• The song succeeds or fails just based on whether you argue your point successfully. I like throwing images together, which create meaning if you listen to it one time, but if you listen to it another time you might get a different meaning.

  Iron & Wine

  Song, Together, Different

  Interview with Joe Tangari, pitchfork.com. October 1, 2007.

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• One time, I was so hungry, I ate the beans in a bean bag chair.

  George Lopez

  Funny, Humor, Bags

  "George Lopez". www.imdb.com. 2002 - 2007.

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• I am always playing hard trying to win. Just knowing that at one time I was once that kid that looked up to NBA players and NFL players. Today these kids look up me.

  Jason Terry

  Kids, Winning, Player

  Source: www.ign.com

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• I remember one time I went to a party and I had to interview Reese Witherspoon. She was just in this movie "Freeway," it's like 1996. To prepare for the interview I went to meet her at this release party, and I end up getting in this fist fight with a guy. I'm not much of a fighter but I get in this fight and the press was all there and they saw me, and all of a sudden the next day in the paper was 'Simon Rex and his posse get in scuffle, and Simon crashes a bottle over a guy's head after smoking crack in the bathroom.' I saved the article forever.

  Simon Rex

  Party, Fighting, Next Day

  "From 'Dirt Nasty' To Rex: An Uncensored Interview With Celeb-Skewering Simon Rex". Interview with Steve Krakauer, www.mediaite.com. July 13, 2009.

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• One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Humor, Wife

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• There was one time where I failed to perform sexually. My girlfriend said to me "oh don't worry, it happens to a lot of guys". Ok, there are two things wrong with that. First of all who are these other guys?, and second of all if it's happening to more than one of us, don't you think it could be YOUR fault?

  Jimmy Carr

  Funny, Girlfriend, Humor

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• The worst job I ever had was as a forensicologist for the United Nations. One time I thought I'd come across the mass grave of a thousand snowmen, but it turns out it was just a field of carrots.

  Milton Jones

  Funny, Jobs, Humor

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• I can't count the number of people I've talked to over the course of my career who have said to me that the thing that they most regret is the one time they did something just for the money.

  Tavis Smiley

  Regret, Careers, Numbers

  Source: www.pbs.org

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• One time, a Protestant minister said, "We made Jesus blonde haired and blue eyed and very cute. We made Jesus somehow a much more feminine figure." And there's probably truth to that.

  Richard Rohr

  Cute, Jesus, Blue

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• And all times are one time, and all those dead in the past never lived before our definition gives them life, and out of the shadow their eyes implore us. That is what all of us historical researchers believe. And we love truth.

  Robert Penn Warren

  Love, Life, Believe

  Robert Penn Warren (2006). “All the King's Men”, p.342, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

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• Time heals all things but one: Time.

  Cynthia Ozick

  Time, Heal, All Things

  Cynthia Ozick (1966). “Trust”

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• Other than He cannot be qualified by two (opposite) qualities at one time; yet With Him they do not create opposition. He is hidden in His manifestation, manifest in His concealing.

  Mansur Al-Hallaj

  Opposites, Two, Quality

  "Doctrine of the Sufis". Book by Muhammed Al-Kalabadhi, translated by A.J. Arberry. Chapter 5, p. 16, 1977.

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