Jerk Quotes - Page 2

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  Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

  George Carlin

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  "Carlin on Campus". Documentary, Comedy, 1984.

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• I'm not afraid to be a jerk or anything and laugh at myself anymore.

  Mike Tyson

  Laughing, Not Afraid

  Source: collider.com

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• That's the problem with having a moral code. We want to destroy the jerkish part of the jerks, but we want to save the human being underneath.

  David Levithan

  Want, Moral, Problem

  Andrea Cremer, David Levithan (2013). “Invisibility”, p.173, Penguin

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• In the history of the world many souls have been, are, and will be, and with a little reflection this is marvelous and not depressing. Many jerks are made gloomy about it, for they think quantity buries them alive. That's just crazy. Numbers are very dangerous, but the main thing about them is that they humble your pride. And that's good.

  Saul Bellow

  Depressing, Crazy, Humble

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• Don't be a jerk. Try to love everyone. Give more than you take. And do it despite the fact that you only really like about seven out of 500 people.

  Judd Apatow

  People, Giving, Trying

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• Success is not about money and power. Real success is about relationships. There's no point in making $50 million a year if your teenager thinks you're a jerk and you spend no time with your wife.

  Christopher Reeve

  Real, Teenager, Thinking

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• Hemmingway was a jerk.

  Harold Robbins

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• Australians and New Zealanders don't talk about Gallipoli in terms of invasion. I started talking about it and using that word and at first there were a few people who were getting upset in the same way that in any country, if you work for a newspaper you know exactly the dude you can go and talk to get a knee-jerk reaction when it comes to something to do with the military.

  Russell Crowe

  Country, Military, Talking

  "The Water Diviner - Russell Crowe interview". Interview with Rob Carnevale, www.indielondon.co.uk.

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• I must of woke up this morning with a bug up my ass, I think I'll just haul off and belt the next jerk that I pass.

  Todd Rundgren

  Morning, Work, Thinking

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• I don't jerk off because I'm horny. I'm sort of half-chick. It's like District 9. I can fire alien weapons. I can insert a tampon. No, I do it because I want to take a brain bath. It's like a hot whirlpool for my brain, in a brain space that is 100 percent agreeable with itself.

  John Mayer

  Space, Fire, Horny

  "John Mayer On Jennifer Aniston, Tiger Woods & Masturbating". www.huffingtonpost.com. March 21, 2010.

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• Like a jerk, I went to a nutritionist and I ate the most repulsive, awful things. I didn't allow myself to eat chocolate cake and french fries and cheeseburgers.

  Sally Field

  Cake, Chocolate, Awful

  "The Tavis Smiley Show", www.pbs.org. November 16, 2012.

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• It's about time trees were good for something, instead of just standing there like jerks!

  Homer

  Tree, Standing There, Standing

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• Public transportation is for jerks and lesbians.

  Matt Groening

  Transportation, Public Transportation

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• Sunrises and sunsets are real jerks about putting things in perspective.

  Josh Lieb

  Real, Sunset, Perspective

  Josh Lieb (2009). “I Am a Genius of Unspeakable Evil and I Want to Be Your Class President”, p.157, Penguin

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• I could be a jerk and get a lot more publicity, but that's not who I am.

  Pete Sampras

  Who I Am, Publicity

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• I could be a real jerk on the days I was pitching.

  Bob Gibson

  Real, Pitching

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• I've been a jerk on the internet since the internet started.

  Martin Shkreli

  Internet

  "We called Martin Shkreli and asked him point blank about the drug-price scandal - here's what he said". Interview with Lydia Ramsey, www.businessinsider.com. October 13, 2015.

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• Knee-jerk liberals and all the certified saints of sanctified humanism are quick to condemn this great and much-maligned Transylvanian statesman.

  William F. Buckley, Jr.

  Saint, Knees, Statesmen

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• When you jerk off, you're saying "Hey", I care about me.

  Andrew Dice Clay

  Hey, Care, I Care

  "Dice Rules". Comedy, Documentary, 1991.

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• I've always wanted to play a soldier and I'd never taken on a character where I'm the happy-go-lucky protagonist. I've played a lot of jerks recently.

  Jesse McCartney

  Taken, Character, Play

  "5 Questions with Jesse McCartney". Interview with Jarett Wieselman, www.etonline.com. March 22, 2013.

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• I'll get cast occasionally as sort of the jerk version of myself, and I have fun doing that. But it's really better for everyone if I stay behind the camera.

  Aaron Sorkin

  Fun, Cameras, If I Stay

  Source: www.interviewmagazine.com

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• I think that it is real important for someone to be really honest and open emotionally. I'm really an emotional person. If I'm that way and the guy isn't that way I just really feel like a jerk.

  Molly Ringwald

  Real, Emotional, Thinking

  Source: www.interviewmagazine.com

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• When I say something funny, I don’t laugh, so my friends are always like, ‘Hahahahaaaa!’ so people know. When I’m not with them, I always think, This person doesn’t know I’m funny; they just think I’m a jerk.

  Blake Lively

  Thinking, People, Laughing

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• The biggest Russian problem - not all Russian jerks have moved to the US and UK yet.

  Evgeni Kostitsyn

  Problem, Moved

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• Every day when I get home from work, I feel so frustrated, my boss is a jerk.

  Todd Rundgren

  Work, Home, Boss

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