Humorous Christmas Quotes - Page 2

• One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly." ~ (1919-), American writer, producer, humorist.

  Andy Rooney

  Christmas, Xmas, Holiday

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• Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

  Kin Hubbard

  Funny, Christmas, Xmas

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• Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that every year around this time, I hear Christmas music.

  Tom Sims

  Funny, Christmas, Years

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• There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

  Erma Bombeck

  Christmas, Spiritual, Morning

  Erma Bombeck (2013). “Forever, Erma: Best-Loved Writing From America's Favorite Humorist”, p.260, Open Road Media

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• There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus.

  Bob Phillips

  Funny, Christmas, Dad

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• Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.

  W. C. Fields

  Christmas, Funny Life, Drinking

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• Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.

  Victor Borge

  Funny, Christmas, Witty

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• From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.

  Katharine Whitehorn

  Funny, Christmas, Views

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• Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer... Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?

  Bill Watterson

  Christmas, Xmas, Beer

  "Calvin and Hobbes". Comic strip by Bill Watterson, November 18, 1985 – December 31, 1995.

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• Christmas is a necessity. There has to be at least one day of the year to remind us that we're here for something else besides ourselves.

  Eric Sevareid

  Christmas, Xmas, Holiday

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• Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love.

  Hamilton Wright Mabie

  Love, Christmas, Xmas

  Hamilton Wright Mabie (1900). “My study fire: first series”

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• Unless we make Christmas an occasion to share our blessings, all the snow in Alaska won't make it 'white'.

  Bing Crosby

  Christmas, Xmas, Blessed

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• I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.

  Bernard Manning

  Funny, Birthday, Christmas

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• Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.

  Kin Hubbard

  Christmas, Children, Mean

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