Funny Parent Quotes - Page 2

• Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands.

  Anne Frank

  Inspirational, Growing Up, Women

  FaceBook post by Anne Frank from Nov 29, 2014

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• In spite of the six thousand manuals on child raising in the bookstores, child raising is still a dark continent and no one really knows anything. You just need a lot of love and luck - and, of course, courage.

  Bill Cosby

  Courage, Children, Dark

  Bill Cosby (1987). “Fatherhood”, Berkley Publishing Group

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• I don't remember who said this, but there really are places in the heart you don't even know exist until you love a child.

  Anne Lamott

  Inspiring, Funny Inspirational, Children

  Anne Lamott (1994). “Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son's First Year”, Fawcett

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• I think once you sign on to be a mother, that's the only shift they offer.

  Jodi Picoult

  Mother, Parenting, Offers

  "My Sister's Keeper". Book by Jodi Picoult, April 6, 2004.

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• The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.

  Dorothy Parker

  Inspirational, Funny, Hilarious

  Dorothy Parker (2004). “Dorothy Parker in Her Own Words”, Taylor Trade Publishing

  41 Copy quote

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• It behooves a father to be blameless if he expects his child to be.

  Homer

  Children, Dad, Father

  11 Copy quote

• Parents are the bones on which children cut their teeth.

  Peter Ustinov

  Children, Cutting, Parenting

  33 Copy quote

• It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner.

  Ben Berger

  Inspirational, Funny, Hilarious

  20 Copy quote

• My mom used to say it doesn't matter how many kids you have... because one kid'll take up 100% of your time so more kids can't possibly take up more than 100% of your time.

  Karen Brown

  Mom, Children, Kids

  47 Copy quote

• There may be some doubt as to who are the best people to have charge of children, but there can be no doubt that parents are the worst.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Funny, Mother, Children

  8 Copy quote

• To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while. Your children need your presence more than your presents.

  Jesse Jackson

  Family, Children, Parenting

  15 Copy quote

• Although there are many trial marriages... there is no such thing as a trial child.

  Gail Sheehy

  Love, Family, Marriage

  28 Copy quote

• Getting down on all fours and imitating a rhinoceros stops babies from crying. (Put an empty cigarette pack on your nose for a horn and make loud "snort" noises.) I don't know why parents don't do this more often. Usually it makes the kid laugh. Sometimes it sends him into shock. Either way it quiets him down. If you're a parent, acting like a rhino has another advantage. Keep it up until the kid is a teenager and he definitely won't have his friends hanging around your house all the time.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Inspirational, Mom, Baby

  11 Copy quote

• Ma-ma does everything for the baby, who responds by saying Da-da first.

  Mignon McLaughlin

  Mom, Baby, Parent

  Mignon McLaughlin (2014). “Aperçus: The Aphorisms of Mignon McLaughlin”, p.39, BookBaby

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• It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.

  Phyllis Diller

  Mothers Day, Mom, Fathers Day

  68 Copy quote

• Parents often talk about the younger generation as if they didn't have anything to do with it.

  Haim Ginott

  Happy Mothers Day, Children, Parenting

  54 Copy quote

• Raising children is like making biscuits: it is as easy to raise a big batch as one, while you have your hands in the dough.

  E. W. Howe

  Children, Parenting, Hands

  16 Copy quote

• Your kids require you most of all to love them for who they are, not to spend your whole time trying to correct them.

  Bill Ayers

  Kids, Parenting, Compassion

  "An Unconditional Embrace". Interview with Gabriel Lyon, www.tolerance.org. Spring 1998.

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• A father carries pictures where his money used to be.

  Steve Martin

  Fathers Day, Baby, Dad

  41 Copy quote

• If nature had arranged that husbands and wives should have children alternatively, there would never be more than three in a family.

  Laurence Housman

  Marriage, Mothers Day, Mom

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

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• The voice of parents is the voice of gods, for to their children they are heaven's lieutenants.

  William Shakespeare

  Family, God, Meaningful

  William Shakespeare (2010). “Double Falsehood: Third Series”, p.118, A&C Black

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• If I had my child to raise all over again,I'd finger paint more, and point the finger less.I'd do less correcting, and more connecting.I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.I would care to know less, and know to care more.I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.I'd run through more fields, and gaze at more stars.I'd do more hugging, and less tugging.I would be firm less often, and affirm much more.I'd build self esteem first, and the house later.I'd teach less about the love of power, and more about the power of love.

  Diana Loomans

  Running, Stars, Children

  72 Copy quote

• I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.

  Phyllis Diller

  Funny, Family, Mom

  77 Copy quote

• Setting a good example for your children takes all the fun out of middle age.

  William Feather

  Mothers Day, Mom, Children

  William Feather (1949). “The Business of Life”

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• The parents exist to teach the child, but also they must learn what the child has to teach them; and the child has a very great deal to teach them

  Arnold Bennett

  Children, Parenting, Parents Love

  8 Copy quote