Funny American Football Quotes - Page 3

• Football is not a game but a religion, a metaphysical island of fundamental truth in a highly verbalized, disguised society, a throwback of 30,000 generations of anthropological time.

  Arnold J. Mandell

  Football, Islands, Games

  57 Copy quote

• Detroit's so bad this year they might lose their bye week.

  Dennis Miller

  Football, Years, Nfl

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• There are two kinds of people in the world, Notre Dame lovers and Notre Dame haters. And, quite frankly, they're both a pain in the ass.

  Dan Devine

  Football, Pain, College

  25 Copy quote

• Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Football, Play, Special

  FaceBook post by Fran Lebowitz from May 02, 2010

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• There are several differences between a footballl game and a revolution. For one thing, a football game usually lasts longer and the participants wear uniforms. Also there are more injuries at a football game.

  Alfred Hitchcock

  Sarcastic, Football, Sarcasm

  7 Copy quote

• Men are clinging to football on a level we aren't even aware of. For centuries, we ruled everything, and now, in the last ten minutes, there are all these incursions by women. It's our Alamo.

  Tony Kornheiser

  Football, Men, Levels

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• There are several differences between a football game and a revolution. For one thing, a football game usually lasts longer and the participants wear uniforms. Also, there are usually more casualties in a football game. The object of the game is to move a ball past the other team's goal line. This counts as six points. No points are given for lacerations, contusions, or abrasions, but then no points are deducted, either. Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally.

  Alfred Hitchcock

  Football, Team, Moving

  11 Copy quote

• The only way to stop Jim Brown was to give him a movie contract.

  Carl "Spider" Lockhart

  Funny, Sports, Nfl

  7 Copy quote

• I had pro offers from the Detroit Lions and Green Bay Packers, who were pretty hard up for linemen in those days. If I had gone into professional football the name Jerry Ford might have been a household word today.

  Gerald R. Ford

  Sports, Football, Names

  74 Copy quote

• If I drop dead tomorrow, at least I’ll know I died in good health.

  Bum Phillips

  Nfl, Tomorrow, Good Health

  19 Copy quote

• Rapport? You mean like, You'll run as fast as you can, and I'll throw it as far as I can?

  Jeff Kemp

  Football, Running, Mean

  54 Copy quote

• If the Super Bowl is really the ultimate game, why do they play it again next year?

  Duane Thomas

  Football, Years, Games

  10 Copy quote

• Not only does he have the NFC East record for touchdowns, but also the team record.

  Emmitt Smith

  Funny, Football, Team

  15 Copy quote

• People say I'll be drafted in the first round, maybe even higher.

  Craig Heyward

  Football, Nfl Players, People

  8 Copy quote

• Distance running to a professional athlete in my day was five laps around the field. And you stopped each lap to take your pulse.

  Lynn Swann

  Football, Running, Distance

  8 Copy quote

• The people don't take baths and they don't speak English. No golf courses, no room service. Who needs it?

  Jim McMahon

  Funny, Football, Stupid

  12 Copy quote

• Tell Ray to put the eyeliner, the lipstick and the high heels away. I'm not saying he's a cross-dresser, that's just what I heard.

  Shannon Sharpe

  Funny, Football, High Heels

  "Buchanan, Sharpe's War Of Words". www.cbsnews.com. January 28, 1999.

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