Funny American Football Quotes - Page 2

• I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid.

  Terry Bradshaw

  Football, Stupid, Nfl

  26 Copy quote

• Let's face it, you have to have a slightly recessive gene that has a little something to do with the brain to go out on the football field and beat your head against other human beings on a daily basis.

  Tim Green

  Football, Nfl, Brain

  10 Copy quote

• Football: A sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture.

  Elbert Hubbard

  Sports, Football, Agriculture

  Quoted in Colin Jarman The Guinness Dictionary of Sports Quotations (1990).

  33 Copy quote

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• I like to believe that my best hits border on felonious assault.

  Jack Tatum

  Motivational, Soccer, Football

  Jack Tatum, Bill Kushner (1980). “They Call Me Assassin”, Avon Books

  13 Copy quote

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• American football makes rugby look like a Tupperware party.

  Sue Lawley

  Football, Party, Nfl

  47 Copy quote

• We can't run. We can't pass. We can't stop the run. We can't stop the pass. We can't kick. Other than that, we're just not a very good football team right now.

  Bruce Coslet

  Soccer, Football, Running

  9 Copy quote

• I have seen women walk right past a TV set with a football game on and - this always amazes me - not stop to watch, even if the TV is showing replays of what we call a "good hit," which is a tackle that causes at least one major internal organ to actually fly out of a player's body.

  Dave Barry

  Football, Past, Player

  Dave Barry (2012). “The Greatest Invention in the History of Mankind Is Beer: And Other Manly Insights from Dave Barry”, p.33, Andrews McMeel Publishing

  19 Copy quote

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• The Refrigerator" Perry: "I've been big ever since I was little.

  Prince William

  Football, Nfl, Littles

  10 Copy quote

• Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings.

  George Will

  Football, Inspiration, Nfl

  International Herald Tribune, May 07, 1990.

  9 Copy quote

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• Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football.

  John Heisman

  Soccer, Sports, Football

  35 Copy quote

• We're going to start with the injury report, obviously. Manning, Clark, Addai, Reggie Wayne, Freeney, Mathis, Brackett - all those guys will not play. Oh, hold up. That was my wish list for Santa Claus.

  Rex Ryan

  Funny, Football, Play

  10 Copy quote

• Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

  Dave Barry

  Football, Intelligent, Sharks

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  89 Copy quote

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• You don't have to win it, just don't lose it.

  Ray Lewis

  Football, Winning, Nfl

  4 Copy quote

• I was the originator of smack. Some guys rattle with smack; with other guys it rolls right off their shoulders like nothing.

  Deacon Jones

  Football, Nfl, Guy

  11 Copy quote

• If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

  Erma Bombeck

  Soccer, Sports, Football

  Erma Bombeck (2013). “If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?”, p.151, Open Road Media

  88 Copy quote

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• Watching football is like watching pornography. There's plenty of action, and I can't take my eyes off it, but when it's over, I wonder why the hell I spent an afternoon doing it.

  Luke Salisbury

  Funny, Football, Eye

  Luke Salisbury (1990). “The answer is baseball: a book of questions that illuminate the great game”, Vintage Books

  8 Copy quote

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• Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally.

  Alfred Hitchcock

  Football, Player, Nfl

  12 Copy quote

• Football isn't a contact sport, it's a collision sport.

  Duffy Daugherty

  Sports, Football, Nfl Players

  Quoted in L.A. Times, 5 Oct. 1963

  20 Copy quote

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• Most football players are temperamental. That's 90 percent temper and 10 percent mental.

  Doug Plank

  Sports, Football, Player

  45 Copy quote

• I never graduated from Iowa, but I was only there for two terms - Truman's and Eisenhower's.

  Alex Karras

  Inspirational, Football, Teenager

  18 Copy quote

• Baseball is what we were, football is what we have become.

  Mary McGrory

  Soccer, Baseball, Football

  32 Copy quote

• You guys line up alphabetically by height.

  Bill Peterson

  Sports, Football, Guy

  19 Copy quote

• You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle.

  Bill Peterson

  Funny, Circles, Guy

  15 Copy quote

• I'm a firm believer that all sports will eventually be global. Someday, we may have a quarterback from China named Yao Fling.

  Paul Tagliabue

  Funny, Sports, Football

  8 Copy quote

• There are two kinds of people in the world, observers and non-observers.

  John Steinbeck

  Football, Two, People

  42 Copy quote