Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol.
Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.
I would give all of my fame for a pot of ale and safety.
Beer, if drank with moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit, and promotes health.
One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts.
I only drank for three years of my life, but I drank enough in those three years to last me the rest of my life... It's a religious thing.
By then I was in Brooklyn and drank my way through that summer. I stopped when I got sick of that and got a job at the Strand bookstore, which was a little better than the tax job.
My mother's father drank and her mother was an unhappy, neurotic woman, and I think she has lived all her life afraid of anyone who drinks for fear something like that might happen to her.
I busted out of the place in a hurry and went to a saloon and drank beer and said that for the rest of my life I'd never take a job in a place where you couldn't throw cigarette butts on the floor. I was hooked on this writing for newspapers and magazines.
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.
I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it.
Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.
When people ask me if Dean Martin drank, let me put it this way. If Dracula bit Dean in the neck, he'd get a Bloody Mary.
When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.
Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer.
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
It’s a great advantage not to drink among hard drinking people.
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?
Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.
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