Blokes Quotes - Page 3

• One day he (Einstein) said that the only mechanical force more powerful than steam, electricity and atomic energy is will. That Albert guy was not stupid. With will you can achieve things.

  Jose Mourinho

  Powerful, Stupid, One Day

  "Manchester United's José Mourinho: no longer the bright young iconoclast" by Jonathan Wilson, www.theguardian.com. September 22, 2016.

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• Shakespeare is just some bloke who keeps ranting "what light trough yonder window breaks" its the moon for god sakes!

  Louise Rennison

  Moon, Light, Sake

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• Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!

  Bill Bailey

  Funny, Humor, Three

  "Is It Bill Bailey? (Episode 1)". Stand up / sketch comedy series by Bill Bailey, February 20, 1998.

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• Joke number 1, I have a bit of a problem with jokes, bit of a handicap for a comedian obviously, um, I tend to bail out of the joke, I lose commitment in it, I'll give you an example: Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

  Bill Bailey

  Stupid, Commitment, Numbers

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• Gaddafi's a great bloke. The media only show the bad things. I used to go round his house. His son's a super simple guy. All the Gaddafis are very down to earth.

  Luis de Agustini

  Football, Son, Simple

  "Said & Done" by David Hills, www.theguardian.com. June 4, 2011.

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• I say to the young blokes, when you get asked for an autograph, don't knock it back because there'll be a time where no one will ask you.

  Brett Kenny

  Sports, Wisdom, Australia

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• I think that the ordinary bloke has an instinctive sense that it wouldn't be too bad if the weather warmed up.

  Nigel Lawson

  Thinking, Weather, Ordinary

  "They cheat, I tell you". Interview with Julian Glover, www.theguardian.com. May 2, 2008.

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• No, look, there's a blue box. It's bigger on the inside than it is on the outside. It can go anywhere in time and space and sometimes even where it's meant to go. And when it turns up, there's a bloke in it called The Doctor and there will be stuff wrong and he will do his best to sort it out and he will probably succeed cos he's awesome. Now sit down, shut up, and watch 'Blink'.

  Neil Gaiman

  Blue, Space, Doctors

  "If This is Sunday Than I Must be at Home" by Neil Gaiman, journal.neilgaiman.com. April 7, 2011.

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• There is no such thing as 'social gambling.' Either you are there to cut the other bloke's heart out and eat it -- or you're a sucker. If you don't like this choice -- don't gamble.

  Robert A. Heinlein

  Heart, Cutting, Gambling

  Robert A. Heinlein (1987). “Time Enough for Love”, p.235, Penguin

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• I think it's better if blokes can admit that they can have crushes on other blokes. I've probably had crushes but never really sexual crushes on men.

  Graham Coxon

  Crush, Men, Thinking

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• Society? Can we trust us? Doubt it. We're probably not even real, as was revealed in the popular documentary The Matrix. That bloke next door? Made of pixels. Your co-workers? Pixels. You? One pixel. One measly pixel. You haven't even got shoes, for Christ's sake.

  Charlie Brooker

  Real, Doors, Shoes

  "The very fabric of society is breaking down around us. What the hell is there left to believe in?" by Charlie Brooker, www.theguardian.com. July 12, 2009.

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• They put up this bloke's picture on Crimewatch UK with a phone number and said 'Have you seen this man?' Well my auntie rang them up and said 'No'.

  Jasper Carrott

  Men, Phones, Numbers

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• Ask any Ferrari, Porsche or Ray-Ban salesperson about their average customer and you will very likely hear that he is not, as the adverts would have us believe, a virile young footballer with shiny hair, a rippling six pack and a trouser pouch like a new punch bag. He is, in fact, a middle-aged bloke wearing more chins than he started life with and carrying the clear evidence of forty years of beer and pies slung across his midriff.

  Richard Hammond

  Believe, Beer, Pie

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• The ordinary bloke will not voluntarily pay for "art" that leaves him unmoved--if he does pay for it, the money has to be conned out of him, by taxes and such.

  Robert A. Heinlein

  Art, Ordinary, Doe

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• I'm a tidy sort of bloke. I don't like chaos. I kept records in the record rack, tea in the tea caddy, and pot in the pot box.

  George Harrison

  Tea, Records, Chaos

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• I like naked women! I'm a bloke! I'm supposed to like them! We're born like that. We like naked women as soon as we're pulled out of one... When Man invented fire, he didn't say "Hey, let's cook!" He said: "Great! Now we can see naked bottoms in the dark!"... The story of male achievement through the ages, feeble though it may have been, has been the story of our struggle to get a better look at your bottoms.

  Steven Moffat

  Struggle, Dark, Men

  "Coupling". www.imdb.com. 2000-2004.

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• Wild!" Ron said, twiddling the replay knob on the side. "I can make that old bloke down there pick his nose again... and again... and again...

  J. K. Rowling

  Noses, Sides, Said

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• I love how the men stand around cooking the barbie while the women have done all the work beforehand doing the marinade and making the salads and then everybody says, 'what a great barbie' to the guy cooking. A barbecue is just the ultimate blokes' pastime, isn't it?

  Curtis Stone

  Men, Guy, Cooking

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• The problem wiv some blokes is that wen they ain't drunk, they're sober.

  William Butler Yeats

  Drunk, Problem, Sober

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• Where I live if someone gives you a hug it's from the heart. I've had these blokes in Hollywood hug me trying to make out I'm their friend and as soon as I turn their back they take out a big bunch of knives and stab me in the back. I feel sorry for these people because they are so shallow.

  Steve Irwin

  Sorry, Heart, Knives

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• I phoned the local ramblers club today and this bloke just went on and on.

  Tim Vine

  Funny, Humor, Clubs

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• This bloke was so pissed, he thought his vomit had come to life!

  Russell Howard

  Funny, Humor

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• The problem is a lot of people don't think. The general bloke just goes through life, gets a job, gets married and all that, and that's it.

  Paul Simonon

  Jobs, Thinking, People

  Source: rocknycliveandrecorded.com

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• After 'Bhaji On The Beach', I didn't make a movie for six years. I couldn't get a movie off the ground for love nor money. It was a very tough time and I almost gave up. If I had been an Oxbridge bloke after 'Bhaji', my career would have been very different

  Gurinder Chadha

  Beach, Years, Careers

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• Is it in the interests of Britain to leave or remain in the EU? As we saw in the referendum, there are different Britains and they see their interests in different ways. For a lot of everyday blokes the EU affected their sense of identity in ways they disliked, and they were right in thinking that the EU didn't return much to them by way of economic benefits.

  Dale Jamieson

  Thinking, Everyday, Identity

  Source: www.3ammagazine.com

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