Black Quotes - Page 40

• A black President? Now come on y'all, we got Clinton, that's close. He got negro tendencies.

  Chris Tucker

  President, Clinton, Tendencies

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• What!? You tell people that, I won't get no more black movies?

  Chris Tucker

  People, Black Movie

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• The way we value black beauty has changed. I'm single now, but back in the slave days, I would have never been single. I'm 6 feet tall and I'm strong. Look at me, I'm a Mandingo.

  Leslie Jones

  Strong, Feet, Looks

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• All was black, gloomy and awful. There was no light at the end of the tunnel - or if there was, it was an oncoming train.

  Terry Pratchett

  Tunnels, Light, Awful

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• Lieutenant Governor Paterson - blind, black guy - gets sworn in. First thing he says is, 'By the way, cheated on my wife. Let's just get that out in the open right now.' He didn't need to admit that. He's blind. Could have said it was an accident.

  Greg Fitzsimmons

  Wife, Guy, Needs

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• We're ready for a real black President - someone like Jay-Z. Obama's fine, just not all black. He's our gateway Negro.

  Christopher Titus

  Real, President, Fine

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• My dad also survived five divorces, and the women he married cleaned his ass out every time. I used to think my dad got divorced because he wanted new furniture. At one point in my life, all we had left was a wooden box, a 12 black-and-white TV, and a four-man rubber raft for a couch. And yet, I was the coolest kid in third grade. Mom, can we have a sleepover in Christopher Titus' house? They have a raft in the living room! We can row to breakfast in the morning. I can actually be Captain Crunch!

  Christopher Titus

  Mom, Morning, Dad

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Everybody's a racist. It's the one human trait that makes us all exactly the same. Deep down, we only like people who are exactly like us. And it doesn't matter. White. Black. Red. Yellow. Purple, uh oh, the purple people, are the worst. Man. All prejudiced and birth marky. But, we've got to learn to get past our differences. I learned that at the museum of tolerance. After my dad beat the crap out of a guy over a parking spot.

  Christopher Titus

  Dad, Past, Men

  "Titus / Too Damn Good". www.imdb.com. 2001.

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• A black widow loves her mate then kills him. A praying mantis loves her mate then eats him. Women love my dad, but he's too big to eat.

  Christopher Titus

  Dad, Praying Mantis, Widows

  "Titus", www.imdb.com. 2000-2002.

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• I don't like to see projects that are all black or all white. It's how life is. I do like to make sure that I do a nice black family film; that's like keeping my home base. I do other things, but I like to always come back to a positive family film, because of all the negative influences today.

  Vivica Fox

  Nice, Home, White

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• I believe that the black-and-white photograph, or rather the gray zones in the black-and-white photograph, stand for this territory that is located between life and death.

  W. G. Sebald

  Believe, Black And White, Life And Death

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• You know what they say: 'Once you go black, your parents don't talk to you anymore.

  Amy Schumer

  Parent, Knows

  Twitter post from Oct 27, 2009

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• Hitler really wasn't so bad. In the black way.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Way

  Twitter post from Sep 18, 2010

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• Perhaps I'm being too optimistic, but I think this country is finally ready for a black serial killer.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Country, Optimistic, Thinking

  Twitter post from May 26, 2009

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• I think my friends wife has been banging a black guy. Because they just had a baby. And the baby had a hole in it.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Baby, Thinking, Wife

  Twitter post from Jun 24, 2010

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• Stereotypes wouldn't be so bad if black people were nicer, in general.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  People, Stereotype, Ifs

  Twitter post from Dec 28, 2009

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• Racist dermatologists think all black people have really bad skin.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Thinking, Racism, People

  Twitter post from Oct 13, 2010

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• My comedy has no color, it's for everybody, black, white, Latino, Asian. It's not a pro-black show, not a def jam show; it's just straight, wholesome type of humor.

  Bruce Bruce

  Color, White, Asian

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• Even a fellow with a camera has his favourite subjects, as we can see looking through the Kodak-albums of our friends. One amateur prefers the family group, another bathing scenes, another cows upon an alp, or kittens held upside down in the arms of a black-faced child. The tendency to choose one subject rather than another indicates the photographer's temperament. Nevertheless, his passion is for photography rather than for selection, a kitten will serve when no cows are available.

  E. M. Forster

  Photography, Children, Passion

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• We're all black when the lights go out.

  Lil Jon

  Light, All Black

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• In 1965, when great young white artists in the English-speaking world were successfully re-channeling hillbilly and black music - you know Bob Dylan, Ray Davies, Pete Townsend, Keith Richards - they didn't get any money at first. They were all broke.

  Iggy Pop

  Artist, White, Rays

  Interview with Bret Gladstone, pitchfork.com. August 13, 2007.

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• Sometimes I just want to tell a story regardless of whether it fits what the show is saying. I’ve been in a lot of writing rooms where somebody says an idea and everyone’s dying, like laughing so they’re delirious. It’s like a black hole in a good way, everything starts to fall into it, you know what I mean.

  Louis C. K.

  Fall, Mean, Writing

  "Louis CK Interview, Part 1: Fatherhood and Fear". Interview with James Poniewozik, entertainment.time.com. June 22, 2011.

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• I don't tend to like race jokes. I don't like Jew jokes and black jokes, and they make me very uncomfortable, probably because I'm both. Well, I'm not black - but if I was then I could dance better.

  Iliza Shlesinger

  Race, Uncomfortable, Jew

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• Republicans are just rich, old, white people - that's all they are. You ever see the Republican National Convention? All white people - six black people: paid actors. James Earl Jones in his most difficult, challenging role! Tune in and attempt to watch him look pleased during a George Bush speech. And Clarence Thomas - as himself.

  Andy Kindler

  White, People, Challenges

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• Black people don't hijack planes, alright? Now I'll be the first to admit, we steal a lot of stuff, but we do not hijack planes. In fact, in the history of aviation, a black person has never even attempted to hijack a plane. Do you want to know why? Because you can't sell an airplane.

  Alonzo Bodden

  Airplane, People, Stuff

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