Bathroom Quotes - Page 18

• People go to Vegas, and they don't know what to do; here's what you do. You go to the casino in your hotel. On your arrival, you get $100 in quarters. Take that $100 back to your hotel room and stare at it for a long, long time. Why? Because you're never going to see them again. Then you take those quarters to the bathroom and you flush them, one by one by one. And the nice thing about that is that every so often the toilet will back up, and you'll feel like a WINNER!

  Lewis Black

  Funny, Nice, Humor

  "The White Album". Comedy album, 2000.

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• These people who build houses with 13 bathrooms and so on, there's something wrong with them.

  David Cheriton

  People, House

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• Unprotected sex just feels better in a Waffle House bathroom.

  Steven Spielberg

  Sex, Feel Better, House

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• People's live are expressed in little details....The soap in the bathroom, the flowers in the garden, the books on the bedside table are all strong symbols of a life in progress. You look at these details and a world unfolds - here are their books, the paintings they cherish, the music that soothes their souls.

  Charlotte Moss

  Strong, Flower, Book

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• Ahh! Lady Pillows. So much fluffier than mine.” He took a giant whiff. “Why does everything girlie smell so delightful?” “Because we acknowledge the importance of basic hygiene. And periodically clean our bathrooms.” “Brilliant. I should write that down. After all, it takes a village.

  Kathy Reichs

  Writing, Hygiene, It Takes A Village

  Kathy Reichs (2011). “Seizure: A Virals Novel”, p.53, Penguin

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• I lay there silently, hoarding my small dignity. I did not ask about the gate or the closet. I did not question the bedtime ritual where, on the cold bathroom tiles, I was spread out daily and examined for flaws. I did not know that my bones, those solids, those pieces of sculpture would not splinter.

  Anne Sexton

  Hoarding, Sculpture, Splinters

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• Granuaile looked terminally depressed when she emerged from the bathroom with raven hair and, as a result rather Goth by accident. She didn't want to get her picture taken. "Aughh!" she said miserably, looking in the vanity mirror in the truck of the cab and fingering a wavy curl near her temple. "This sucks more than anything has ever sucked before. You know what we look like? A couple of emo douche bags." "Well, look at the bright side, Granuaile. Emo Douche Bags would be a great band name." [That's brilliant! It's already the unofficial name of more bands than I can count.]

  Kevin Hearne

  Emo, Couple, Taken

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• I tilted my chin up a fraction. "You can't f-force me to stay here." I'd only agreed to come this far because I didn't want to stand out in the downpour, for one, and I had high hopes of finding a phone, for two. "That sounded more like a question than a statement," said Patch. "Then ans-s-swer it." His rogue smile crept out. "It's hard to concentrate on answers with you looking like that." I glanced down at Patch's black shirt, wet and clinging to my body. I brushed past him and shut the bathroom door between us.

  Becca Fitzpatrick

  Past, Phones, Doors

  Becca Fitzpatrick (2012). “Hush, Hush”, p.284, Simon and Schuster

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• I was going up to the bathroom and a woman asked me: "Have you a good memory for faces?" I asked why and she said: "Because there isn't a mirror up there."

  Frank Carson

  Funny, Memories, Humor

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• What kind of guardian are you? Shouldn't you have gone to the bathroom with him?" Isabelle demanded. Jordan looked horrified. "Dudes," he said, "do not follow other dudes to the bathroom.

  Cassandra Clare

  Gone, Jordan, Kind

  Cassandra Clare (2011). “Cassandra Clare: The Mortal Instrument Series (4 books): City of Bones; City of Ashes; City of Glass; City of Fallen Angels”, p.1547, Simon and Schuster

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• That’s a funny thing: you think, when awful things happen, everything else just stops, like you would forget to pee and eat and get thirsty, but it’s not really true. It’s like you and your body are two separate things, like your body is betraying you, chugging on, idiotic and animal, craving water and sandwiches and bathroom breaks while your world falls apart.

  Lauren Oliver

  Fall, Animal, Thinking

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• Lore? Tell me what Sin said about you being tortured wasn't true,' He didn't look at her as he moved toward the bathroom. 'It wasn't true.' 'You're lying.' 'You told me to.

  Larissa Ione

  Lying, Looks, Sin

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• No, books. She would have maybe twenty going at a time, lying all over our house--on the kitchen table, by her bed, the bathroom, our car, her bags, a little stack at the edge of each stair. And she'd use anything she could find for a bookmark. My missing sock, an apple core, her reading glasses, another book, a fork.

  Kami Garcia

  Lying, Book, Reading

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• Yes, you make yourself useful, angel boy. Meanwhile, I’ll be in the bathroom.” William’s jet-black hair was dripping wet and plastered to his face. There was a fluffy white towel wrapped around his waist, displaying muscles that rivaled Paris’s own, and a tattooed treasure map that led to his man junk. Looking at his, you could see the makings of a temper so savage anyone who miraculously survived an encounter with him would end up needing therapy. And diapers. “I’ve got to finish deep conditioning my hair.” Or maybe not so savage.

  Gena Showalter

  Angel, Boys, Men

  Gena Showalter (2014). “Lords of the Underworld Collection 3: The Darkest Secret\The Darkest Surrender\The Darkest Seduction”, p.1075, Harlequin

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• Before we do, I suggest you take a break. If you need to go to the bathroom, this is a good time. If you're sleepy, go to bed and save the next chapter for tomorrow. For the magician's story, you must have all your wits about you. No wandering minds allowed.

  Pseudonymous Bosch

  Mind, Bed, Needs

  Pseudonymous Bosch (2011). “The Name of this Book is Secret: The Secret Series”, p.74, Usborne Publishing Ltd

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• When I was in high school, I remember seeing girls crying in the bathroom every Monday about what they did that weekend. I never wanted to be that girl crying in the bathroom.

  Taylor Swift

  Girl, Monday, School

  "Taylor Swift: Bomb-Shell in Blue Jeans". Interview with Laurie Sandell, www.glamour.com. June 30,2009.

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• I always try and stay one step ahead of people, not looking like I looked like last week, so I can be as anonymous as possible and part of it is just for me. It is fun to just come up with new and bizarre colors for each area of your body and things like that, but there are some parts of it that I just keep wanting to negate myself. I hate waking up in the morning and recognizing the woman in the bathroom mirror.

  Ani DiFranco

  Morning, Fun, Hate

  "Ani DiFranco, Then and Now". Interview with Michael Mechanic, www.motherjones.com. December 13, 2010.

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• If I'm stuck, I get up from my chair and I wash windows. Or... clean the bathroom. Or vacuum the attic. There's always something to be done.

  David Sedaris

  Vacuums, Done, Window

  Reddit AMA, www.reddit.com. October 8, 2014.

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• The fact that Gene Weingarten and I and Bathroom Inventory are now part of some kind of Matrix of Poop strongly suggests that the Pulitzer is not what it once was.

  Dave Barry

  Facts, Poop, Inventory

  "← Regents Drive Parking Garage, floor 1Guest post: Professorial Pooping Predicament → EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW: Dave Barry and the Matrix of Poop". Interview with Rich Abdill, umdbathrooms.wordpress.com. April 27, 2010.

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• I do some of my best reading while seated in the bathroom.

  Dave Barry

  Reading

  "EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW: Dave Barry and the Matrix of Poop". Interview with Rich Abdill, umdbathrooms.wordpress.com. April 27, 2010.

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• My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Humor, Night

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• I think as a performer, it can be really great to stand on stage, especially when you have more time, but I do think about the specific people in the audience, how it's hard for them to get up and go to the bathroom, how they chose not to do other things that night and have turned off their phones and everything. So for that reason, I think it's necessary to mix it up and talk to the audience.

  Demetri Martin

  Night, Thinking, Phones

  Source: www.isthmus.com

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• The body is sort of a pain. It has to go to the bathroom. It has to be comfortable. But the spirit is indestructible. It can move at the speed of light.

  Robert Ballard

  Pain, Moving, Light

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• I'm not the sort of bloke who spends a long time in the bathroom. I've never used a face cream in my life and I don't like it when I go on TV and they offer me make-up. I tell 'em, 'No thanks.'

  Ray Winstone

  Long, Faces, Tvs

  "Ray Winstone: My Daughters Are Geezer Birds". Interview with Paula Kerr, www.mirror.co.uk. December 07, 2008.

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• Japanese women live in fear of making the least sound in a bathroom stall. Japanese men pay no attention to the subject whatsoever.

  Amelie Nothomb

  Men, Sound, Attention

  Amelie Nothomb (2007). “Fear and Trembling: A Novel”, p.105, Macmillan

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