Accountants Quotes - Page 6

• I have more faith in my bra than I have in my accountant.

  Laurie Notaro

  Bras

  Laurie Notaro (2011). “It Looked Different on the Model: Epic Tales of Impending Shame and Infamy”, p.96, Villard

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• Work should be personal. For all of us. Not just for the artist and entrepreneur. Work should have meaning for the accountant, the construction worker, the technologist, the manager and the clerk.

  Howard Schultz

  Artist, Construction Workers, Should Have

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• The income tax has spawned an intrusive bureaucracy, creating so much complexity and red tape that millions of ordinary citizens have to go get some accountant to fill out the forms for them - and then sign under penalty of perjury that it was done right. If you knew how to do it right, you wouldn't have to go to somebody else to have it done, would you?

  Thomas Sowell

  Creating, Ordinary, Income

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• Everyone caved, adopted loose [accounting] standards, and created exotic derivatives linked to theoretical models. As a result, all kinds of earnings, blessed by accountants, are not really being earned. When you reach for the money, it melts away. It was never there. It [accounting for derivatives] is just disgusting. It is a sewer, and if I'm right, there will be hell to pay in due course. All of you will have to prepare to deal with a blow-up of derivative books.

  Charlie Munger

  Blessed, Book, Blow

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• The stupid and dishonest accountants allowed the genie of totally inappropriate accounting to descend on derivatives books. And once this has happened - people get status, etc. - it's impossible to get it back into the bottle.

  Charlie Munger

  Stupid, Book, People

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• I deliberately look for colorful people. They're very right for theatre. Theatre has to be theatrical. If you can get color into the accountant, you've got something. Write the whole thing first and then say he's an accountant. That's a very wacky accountant, but so what? Theatricality feeds and challenges the actor, the director, and the designers.

  Lanford Wilson

  Writing, Color, People

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• A whole generation of people that didn't know me from 'SNL' recognize me from 'Weeds' now. People recognize me once in a while and appreciate the work. It gets a little embarrassing but it's good. If you work as an accountant, you don't have people coming up to you in the streets saying, 'Hey, great job on tax statements!'

  Kevin Nealon

  Weed, Jobs, People

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• There's not a rocket scientist, not a doctor, not an accountant that 30 years in goes, "Oh, now I'm getting it. Now I can't wait to get back out there because I'm better than ever."

  Jay Mohr

  Doctors, Years, Waiting

  Source: underthegunreview.net

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• When I open my mouth and sing, the truth comes out. When I write, the truth comes out. I can't lie. That, I think, is one of the strongest elements of my music. When people talk about my writing as though I'm doing it from an accountant's perspective, it really pisses me off.

  George Michael

  Lying, Writing, Thinking

  Source: www.interviewmagazine.com

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• The term "rock" has, unfortunately, become appropriated by four-year-old girls and accountants. An accountant does something amazingly well on the stock exchange and his buddies high-five him: He's a rock star! A four-year-old girl learned to ride a bicycle: She's a rock star!

  Ian Astbury

  Girl, Stars, Rocks

  "Ian Astbury on the Death of the Rock Star". Interview With Mick Stingley, www.esquire.com. December 27, 2013.

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• I'm big into stocks. I've invested in a lot of stocks. One day I was talking to my accountant, and he was like, "Yo, what if I could turn a million dollars into $20 million?"

  Fetty Wap

  Talking, What If, One Day

  Interview with Trevor Noah, www.interviewmagazine.com. February 8, 2016.

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• Last night, John McCain said that under the Democratic health care plan, a bureaucrat would stand between you and your doctor, as opposed to the Republican health care plan, where an accountant would stand between you and your health care.

  Jay Leno

  Night, Doctors, Care

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• We are not utopians, we do not “dream” of dispensing at once with all administration, with all subordination. These anarchist dreams, based upon incomprehension of the tasks of the proletarian dictatorship, are totally alien to Marxism, and, as a matter of fact, serve only to postpone the socialist revolution until people are different. No, we want the socialist revolution with people as they are now, with people who cannot dispense with subordination, control, and "foremen and accountants".

  Vladimir Lenin

  Dream, People, Different

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• The rich hire lawyers and accountants for a reason - to pass the tax bill on to you.

  George W. Bush

  Bills, Lawyer, Funny Money

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• I've got an accountant who's been with me forty years. If he makes a mistake, he dies.

  Don Rickles

  Mistake, Years, Forty

  "What I've Learned: Don Rickles". Interview with Mike Sager, www.esquire.com. January 29, 2007.

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• Did you hear about the accountant who became am embezzler? He ran away with the accounts payable!

  Jackie Mason

  Accounts, Ran

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• Bluebeard, who said to Scottland Yard, How do I know how many wives I've killed? I'm not an accountant! Never got a dinner!

  Red Buttons

  Wife, Yards, Dinner

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• The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons can make head, tail, or middle out of it. Einstein admitted he couldn't.

  W. C. Fields

  Giving, Income, Tails

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• I would've liked to have been a better businessman when I was younger. And of course, I couldn't, because it wasn't part of my atmosphere. I never lived with accountants, I never lived with lawyers.

  Jack Kirby

  Atmosphere, Lawyer, Businessman

  Source: kirbymuseum.org

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• It is not the job of mathematicians... to do correct arithmetical operations. It is the job of bank accountants.

  Samuil Shatunovsky

  Jobs, Math, Arithmetic

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• Films are now made by accountants. They pick a pretty young female or male face out of the air and give them a part - not because they think that person is right for it or is ready for it, but because they think that person will make them money.

  Christopher Lee

  Inspirational, Thinking, Air

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• So far rich people have been very quiet about the possibility of getting taxes raised on them, but that doesn't mean they won't get mad about it, it just means they don't know about it. Because it takes a while for bad news to reach a rich person. First their accountant has to tell the butler, who has to tell the servant, who wouldn't dare interrupt their game of croquet.

  Craig Ferguson

  Mean, Games, Mad

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• And it does no harm to repeat, as often as you can, 'Without me the literary industry would not exist: the publishers, the agents, the sub-agents, the sub-sub-agents, the accountants, the libel lawyers, the departments of literature, the professors, the theses, the books of criticism, the reviewers, the book pages- all this vast and proliferating edifice is because of this small, patronized, put-down and underpaid person.'

  Doris Lessing

  Book, Writing, Criticism

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• While Donald Trump was busy with his accountants trying to figure out how to keep living like a billionaire, and all the while he was using his political connections to collect hundreds of millions of dollars in government subsidies and extra tax breaks for his companies. In other words, Trump was taking from America with both hands, and leaving the rest of us with the bill.

  Hillary Clinton

  America, Government, Hands

  Source: time.com

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• I'd rather lie bare-assed naked on the sidewalk and be trampled by tourists from South Dakota than be an accountant.

  Nora Roberts

  Lying, Tourists, Naked

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