Bill Hicks Quotes - Page 8

Quotes about:

• How come people always flip and think they're Jesus? Why not Buddha? Particularly in America, where more people resemble Buddha than Jesus. 'Ah'm BUDDHA!' 'You're Bubba!' 'Ah'm Buddha now..All I gotta do is change 3 letters on ma belt.

  Bill Hicks

  Jesus, Thinking, America

  9 Copy quote

• If I thought the Jews killed God, I'd worship the Jews.

  Bill Hicks

  Atheist, Atheism, Agnostic

  9 Copy quote

• The Voice of Reason is in us all...and everyone can recognize it because it makes sense and everyone benefits from it equally.

  Bill Hicks

  Voice, Benefits, Reason

  15 Copy quote

• Mister, I don't want no trouble. I just came downtown here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham for my wife. I don't even know what gingham is, but she goes through about ten rolls a week of that stuff. I ain't looking for no trouble, Mister.

  Bill Hicks

  Kids, Rocks, Wife

  4 Copy quote

• You ever notice that everyone who believes in creationism looks really un-evolved?

  Bill Hicks

  Believe, Looks, Creationism

  5 Copy quote

• I was a weekend drinker...I'd start on Saturday, end on Friday...thought I was controlling it...but I don't drink any more.

  Bill Hicks

  Friday, Weekend, Drink

  7 Copy quote

• It's my object to be stared at like a dog that's just been shown a card trick.

  Bill Hicks

  Dog, Cards, Card Tricks

  4 Copy quote

• Why is pot against the law? It wouldn't be because anyone can grow it, and therefore you can't make a profit off it, would it?

  Bill Hicks

  Law, Pot, Profit

  "Chicago '91". Comedy album by Bill Hicks, 1991.

  8 Copy quote

• Is it impossible to imagine Americans sneaking into Mexico en masse, seeking regular employment and a better way of life?

  Bill Hicks

  Employment, Mexico, Way

  6 Copy quote

• Oh my God. Lift me up out of this illusion, Lord. Heal my perception that I might know only reality and only you.

  Bill Hicks

  Reality, Perception, Might

  11 Copy quote

• Speaking of Satan, I was watching Rush Limbaugh the other day.

  Bill Hicks

  Satan

  "Rant in E-Minor". Comedy album by Bill Hicks, 1997.

  4 Copy quote

• Okay, I got one word to ask you, a one word question, ready?

  Bill Hicks

  Okay, Ready, One Word

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• ...I just want to be free of the fears and anxieties and the superstitions of religion. An 'avenging GOD'? One who created Hell for those who don't believe? I thought we were the perfect and holy children of GOD? How could any limits possibly be put upon us? Hell.. really? I'm sorry, but... no. Wrong. You're wrong. That's an insane GOD and therefore not mine. Because, see, GOD would be very sane, don't you get it?

  Bill Hicks

  Sorry, Children, Believe

  5 Copy quote

• Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you can't find your fags.

  Bill Hicks

  Eye, Cigarette Smoke, Smoking

  12 Copy quote

• Let me tell you about gays in the military. I don't want any gay people hanging around me while I'm killing kids. I just don't want to see it.

  Bill Hicks

  Funny, Military, Humor

  10 Copy quote

• I was in a cab in New York. The cab had a sign, "Please do not smoke, Christ is our unseen guest." This guy was reaching. I figure, if he could overcome being nailed to a cross, I don't
  think a Marlboro Light's gonna faze him that much.

  Bill Hicks

  New York, Thinking, Light

  "Dark Poet". Comedy album by Bill Hicks, 1991.

  7 Copy quote

• Writing, acting, music, comedy. A deep love of literature and books. Thank God for all the artists who've helped me.

  Bill Hicks

  Book, Writing, Artist

  Bill Hicks (2009). “Love All the People (New Edition)”, p.336, Hachette UK

  7 Copy quote

• You want a better world...? Legalize pot right now. ...end the deficit? Legalize pot right now...biggest cash crop in America.

  Bill Hicks

  America, World, Cash

  9 Copy quote

• You're not a human till you're in my phone book. There. My hat is now in the political ring.

  Bill Hicks

  Book, Phones, Political

  7 Copy quote

• In the beginning God created the heavans and the earth... see you at the final.

  Bill Hicks

  Finals, Earth

  8 Copy quote

• I don't identify with anyone historically, but there are several people in the future who I am a dead ringer for.

  Bill Hicks

  Who I Am, People

  7 Copy quote

• Ever notice that people who believe in creationism look really unevolved? Eyes real close together, big furry hands and feet. "I believe God created me in one day." Yeah, looks like he rushed it.

  Bill Hicks

  Funny, Believe, Humor

  "Arizona Bay". Comedy album by Bill Hicks, recorded between November 1992 and October 1993, 1997.

  7 Copy quote

• I love talking about Kennedy assassination...a great archetypal example of how totalitarian government...sorry, wrong meeting.

  Bill Hicks

  Sorry, Government, Talking

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• The definition of black irony is Pro-lifers killing Doctors who do abortions

  Bill Hicks

  Funny, Humor, Doctors

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• I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution. OK, not the most popular idea ever expressed. Either that or you're all real high and agreeing with me in the only way you can right now. (Starts blinking)

  Bill Hicks

  Real, Believe, Ideas

  6 Copy quote

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