Bill Hicks Quotes - Page 3

Quotes about:

• Laughter makes the bitter swallowing of truth, for some, a little easier.

  Bill Hicks

  Laughter, Swallowing, Littles

  28 Copy quote

• People are bringing shotguns to UFO sightings in Fife, Alabama. I asked a guy, "Why do you bring a gun to a UFO sighting?" Guy said, "Way-ul, we didn' wanna be ab-duc-ted." If I lived in Fife, Alabama, I would be on my hands and knees every night praying for abduction.

  Bill Hicks

  Funny, Humor, Night

  62 Copy quote

• There is a 3rd point of view on the gun control issue - those who I refer to as THE VICTIMS - but they remain strangely silent.

  Bill Hicks

  Gun, Views, Issues

  37 Copy quote

• I need my sleep. I need about eight hours a day, and about ten at night.

  Bill Hicks

  Sleep, Night, Eight

  "Salvation". Live album by Bill Hicks, 2005.

  46 Copy quote

• I've learned a lot about women. I think I've learned exactly how the fall of man occured in the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden, and Adam said one day, Wow, Eve, here we are, at one with nature, at one with God, we'll never age, we'll never die, and all our dreams come true the instant that we have them. And Eve said, Yeah... it's just not enough is it?

  Bill Hicks

  Dream, Fall, Men

  19 Copy quote

• Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.

  Bill Hicks

  Inspirational, Funny, Eye

  90 Copy quote

• Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that's why you giggle the first hour.

  Bill Hicks

  Thinking, Mushrooms, Cows

  6 Copy quote

• If you're so pro-life, do me a favour: don't lock arms and block medical clinics. If you're so pro-life, lock arms and block cemeteries.

  Bill Hicks

  Funny, Block, Humor

  "Post-Sachsgate, standups should channel Bill Hicks" by Bruce Dessau, www.theguardian.com. January 30, 2010.

  37 Copy quote

• We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free.

  Bill Hicks

  Funny, Life, Humor

  32 Copy quote

• It's an insane world, and I'm proud to be a part of it.

  Bill Hicks

  Insane World, Insane, World

  25 Copy quote

• Listen, the next revolution is gonna be a revolution of ideas.

  Bill Hicks

  Ideas, Revolutionary Ideas, Next

  37 Copy quote

• I can't watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.

  Bill Hicks

  Funny, Humor, Revolutionary Ideas

  11 Copy quote

• I do not believe making money in order to consume goods is mankind's sole purpose on this planet.

  Bill Hicks

  Believe, Order, Purpose

  7 Copy quote

• Keith Richards outlived Jim Fixx, the runner and health-nut dude. The plot thickens.

  Bill Hicks

  Nuts, Plot, Keith

  "Love All the People".

  14 Copy quote

• Sometimes my dad even gets on this kick--'You hate this country'....I have to tell him...I just hate being lied to.

  Bill Hicks

  Country, Dad, Hate

  9 Copy quote

• The waitress comes over to me like, 'What'chu readin' for?' I had never been asked that. Not 'What am I reading?' but 'What am I reading for?' Goddammit, you stumped me. Hmm, why do I read? I suppose I read for a lot of reasons, one of the main ones being so I don't end up being a... waffle waitress.

  Bill Hicks

  Book, Reading, Waffles

  "Dangerous". Comedy album by Bill Hicks, 1990.

  35 Copy quote

• The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love, instead, see all of us as one.

  Bill Hicks

  Eye, Eyes Of Love

  "Love All the People".

  20 Copy quote

• It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer's pussy.

  Bill Hicks

  Jesus, Real, Smoking

  "Bill Hicks: Revelations". Documentary, Comedy, www.imdb.com. 1993.

  24 Copy quote

• Go back to bed America, your government is in control again. Go back to bed America... you are free to do as we tell you... you are free to do as we tell you.

  Bill Hicks

  Government, America, Bed

  9 Copy quote

• They Want You To Be A Docile Apathetic Consumer

  Bill Hicks

  Want, Docile, Apathetic

  9 Copy quote

• People say to me, Hey, Bill, the war made us feel better about ourselves. Really? What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves? May I suggest, instead of a war to feel better about yourself, perhaps... sit-ups? Maybe a fruit cup? Eight glasses of water a day?

  Bill Hicks

  Self Esteem, War, Feel Better

  20 Copy quote

• I loved when Bush came out and said, 'We are losing the war against drugs.' You know what that implies? There's a war being fought, and the people on drugs are winning it.

  Bill Hicks

  Funny, War, Humor

  Bill Hicks at the "Just For Laughs" Comedy Festival in Montreal, Quebec, Canada, 1990.

  30 Copy quote

• I go to dance clubs...about once a year just to justify the other 364 days I spend in my apartment going 'God, what idiots!'

  Bill Hicks

  Years, Clubs, Idiot

  26 Copy quote

• Courtroom for Ted Bundy's trial is packed with women, trying to meet him and give him love letters and wedding-fucking-proposals...and the first thought that enters my mind is, "And I'm not getting laid." What am I doing wrong?

  Bill Hicks

  Kings, Giving, Mind

  "Arizona Bay". Comedy album by Bill Hicks, 1997.

  14 Copy quote

• I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out.

  Bill Hicks

  Funny, Humor, Mean

  13 Copy quote

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