Bill Hicks Quotes - Page 10

Quotes about:

• Rock stars hawking Diet Cokes--are demons set loose on the Earth to lower the standards for the perfect & holy children of God!

  Bill Hicks

  Stars, Children, Rocks

  6 Copy quote

• Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! ... That's the story of Jesus.

  Bill Hicks

  Jesus, Stories, Today

  6 Copy quote

• How about a positive LSD story? Wouldn't that be news-worthy, just the once? To base your decision on information rather than scare tactics and superstition and lies? I think it would be news-worthy.

  Bill Hicks

  Lying, Thinking, Scare Tactics

  "Bill Hicks: Sane Man". Documentary, 1989.

  7 Copy quote

• Childbirth is no more a miracle then eating food and a turd coming out of your ass.

  Bill Hicks

  Miracle, Ass, Eating

  5 Copy quote

• I'm sorry if any of you are Catholic. I'm not sorry if you're offended, I'm actually just sorry by the fact that you're Catholic.

  Bill Hicks

  Funny, Sorry, Humor

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

  6 Copy quote

• I've been on what I call my UFO Tour, which means, like UFOs, I too have been appearing in small southern towns in front of a handful of hillbillies lately.

  Bill Hicks

  Southern, Flying, Towns

  "Flying Saucer Tour Vol. I". Comedy album by Bill Hicks, 2002.

  4 Copy quote

• What do you say we lighten things up and talk about abortion?

  Bill Hicks

  Abortion

  5 Copy quote

• We'll see who believes in me now. I am the Prankster God - I am killing me!

  Bill Hicks

  Believe, Killing, Pranksters

  "Bill Hicks: Revelations". Documentary, Comedy, 1993.

  4 Copy quote

• I'm just skin covering coffee and some real nervous teeth.

  Bill Hicks

  Real, Coffee, Skins

  4 Copy quote

• Will there be titty? Sure. Boom! I'm a producer. Where you been all our life, boy? We been lookin for you in Hollywood.

  Bill Hicks

  Boys, Hollywood, Producers

  4 Copy quote

• I'm totally confused about what I'm going to do with my life.

  Bill Hicks

  Confused

  4 Copy quote

• I saw a sign on the side of the road in Tennessee once that said 'dirt for sale'... what a great country we live in. DIRT for sale. How would you like to get inside that guy's mind and look around for a hour? That guy sees opportunity at every glance, doesn't he?

  Bill Hicks

  Country, Opportunity, Guy

  "Sane Man". Documentary, Comedy, 1989.

  7 Copy quote

• I was in Australia....Lotta leg room down under. Apartments: dollar a month. 2000-acre den....think of the parties.

  Bill Hicks

  Party, Thinking, Australia

  5 Copy quote

• Billy Ray Cyrus does not smoke. Michael Bolton doesn't...Paula Abdul doesn't...there does seem to be a pattern.

  Bill Hicks

  Rays, Doe, Patterns

  8 Copy quote

• Well we looked at all the people in the Bible and we added 'em up all the way back to Adam and Eve, their ages: 12,000 years.

  Bill Hicks

  Years, People, Age

  Bill Hicks (2009). “Love All the People (New Edition)”, p.146, Hachette UK

  6 Copy quote

• Let's do some comedy. I always like to add some comedy to my show. Those who've seen me before might know that.

  Bill Hicks

  Add, Might, Comedy

  7 Copy quote

• No one knows what it's like ... to be a dustbin ... in Shaftesbury ... with hooligans.

  Bill Hicks

  Dustbin, Knows

  "Arizona Bay". Comedy album by Bill Hicks, 1997.

  41 Copy quote

• How many of y'all wondered, like I did, during the LA riots when those people were being pulled out of their trucks and beaten half to death - step on the f***ing gas, man! They're on foot, you're in a truck - I think I see a way out of this.

  Bill Hicks

  Men, Thinking, Feet

  4 Copy quote

• 'Where's Bill going?' He's going to comedy death. Boom! He pops out of it with another joke. It's my particular style.

  Bill Hicks

  Style, Bills, Comedy

  4 Copy quote

• That's what I'm gonna do: quit gradually...I'm gonna lose one lung; little while later I'm gonna lose the other one.

  Bill Hicks

  Littles, Quitting, Lungs

  4 Copy quote

• Sometimes you feel in control, and it's great, but sometimes you just don't feel in control and you really have to struggle to get laughs.

  Bill Hicks

  Struggle, Laughing, Sometimes

  Bill Hicks (2009). “Love All the People (New Edition)”, p.32, Hachette UK

  4 Copy quote

• Right foot, left foot, hemorrhage.

  Bill Hicks

  Feet, Left

  4 Copy quote

• I don't know what you all believe, and I don't really care ... but you have to admit that beliefs are odd. Lots of Christians wear crosses around their necks ... you really think when Jesus comes back, he ever wants to see a fucking cross?

  Bill Hicks

  Christian, Jesus, Kings

  "Bill Hicks: Relentless". Documentary, Comedy, 1992.

  4 Copy quote

• I'm not into those kind of rivalries. I remember standing out in front of Stratford, minding my own business. Carload of about eighty kids would pull up: 'STRATFORD SUCKS!' Am I supposed to run after these guys? I'd just stand there, you know. They'd back up. 'STRATFORD SUCKS! ...STRATFORD SUCKS!' I'd say, 'I know. I go there. You're wasting gas, man.

  Bill Hicks

  Running, Kids, Men

  4 Copy quote

• I'll smoke, I'll cough, I'll get the tumors, I'll die, deal? Thank you America. [salutes]

  Bill Hicks

  America, Salute, Deals

  "Sane Man", 1989.

  6 Copy quote

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