Phyllis Diller Quotes - Page 9

Quotes about:

• I remember once a vocational director said to Fang, "You must develop some mechanical skills - like getting out of bed."

  Phyllis Diller

  Funny, Skills, Sloth

  7 Copy quote

• I'll never forget my first fur. It was a modest little stole. Modest? People thought I was wearing anchovies.

  Phyllis Diller

  Inspirational, People, Fur

  4 Copy quote

• Everybody knows how much time Fang spends in bed. A local store that gives a 30 days' trial on mattresses gives Fang only 15 days.

  Phyllis Diller

  Funny, Giving, Sloth

  8 Copy quote

• get married with the feeling it is going to last. Not like the bride I know who doubled the wedding cake recipe and froze one.

  Phyllis Diller

  Cake, Feelings, Recipes

  4 Copy quote

• If I wore a peek-a-boo dress, it would be like turning in a false alarm.

  Phyllis Diller

  Alarms, Dresses, Would Be

  8 Copy quote

• If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

  Phyllis Diller

  Inspirational, Baseball, Memorable

  9 Copy quote

• My father used to call me the laughing hyena.

  Phyllis Diller

  Father, Laughing, Hyenas

  Phyllis Diller (2006). “Like a Lampshade in a Whorehouse: My Life in Comedy”, p.115, Penguin

  19 Copy quote

• All I ever learned at my mother's knee was what a bony knee looked like.

  Phyllis Diller

  Mother, Knees

  4 Copy quote

• He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.

  Phyllis Diller

  Inspirational, Moving, Muscles

  4 Copy quote

• Just the other day I said to Fang, "Don't you think we've got a storybook romance?" and he said, "Yes, and every page is ripped.

  Phyllis Diller

  Thinking, Romance, Pages

  5 Copy quote

• Choose a checked or striped wall paper. People will be halfway home before they are able to focus.

  Phyllis Diller

  Wall, Home, People

  4 Copy quote

• I became a stand-up comedienne because I had a sit-down husband.

  Phyllis Diller

  Husband

  4 Copy quote

• When I go to bed at night, I've got so much grease on my body I wear snow chains to hold up my gown.

  Phyllis Diller

  Night, Snow, Grease

  Phyllis Diller (2006). “Like a Lampshade in a Whorehouse: My Life in Comedy”, p.209, Penguin

  4 Copy quote

• Once Fang took pep pills and they worked - the only time he ever ran to bed.

  Phyllis Diller

  Funny, Sloth, Pills

  8 Copy quote

• It's a certain kind of immortality, because those Disney films do go on and on and on.

  Phyllis Diller

  Goes On, Kind, Film

  "'A Bug's Life' buzzing to big screen" by Dennis Michael, www.cnn.com. November 25, 1998.

  4 Copy quote

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