Tommy Cooper Quotes - Page 3

Quotes about:

• Went to the paper shop - it had blown away.

  Tommy Cooper

  Funny, Humor, Paper

  12 Copy quote

• I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French, surprised everybody. It was a Chinese restaurant. I said to this Chinese waiter, 'Look, this chicken I got here is cold.' He said, 'It should be, it's been dead two weeks.'

  Tommy Cooper

  Funny, Humor, Night

  8 Copy quote

• So I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said "Are you two an item?"

  Tommy Cooper

  Funny, Humor, Men

  4 Copy quote

• Man went into a bar, he only had one arm. Guy sitting next to him said 'Hey, you've got your sleeve in my drink', man replied, 'There's no arm in it'

  Tommy Cooper

  Funny, Humor, Men

  7 Copy quote

• Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.

  Tommy Cooper

  Funny, Humor, Shops

  7 Copy quote

• Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!

  Tommy Cooper

  Wife, Funny Marriage, Toilets

  7 Copy quote

• So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds". I said "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".

  Tommy Cooper

  Funny, Humor, Eye

  4 Copy quote

• I'm on a whisky diet. I've lost 3 days already.

  Tommy Cooper

  Beer, Lost, Whisky

  8 Copy quote

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