Jeremy Clarkson Quotes - Page 2

Quotes about:

• Do not cruise through red lights. Because if I'm coming the other way, I will run you down, for fun.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Running, Fun, Light

  "They call themselves libertarians; I think they're antisocial bastards" by George Monbiot, www.theguardian.com. December 19, 2005.

  13 Copy quote

• The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Democracy, World, Lectures

  "Top Gear: Series 5". TV Series, October 24, 2004.

  11 Copy quote

• Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Insomnia, Suffering, Looks

  14 Copy quote

• Unlike furious thin-lipped feminists, I tend not to draw distinctions between men and women, apart from in bed where you really do need to spot the difference.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Men, Differences, Feminist

  "Jeremy Clarkson: TV obsessed with hiring 'black Muslim lesbians" by Steve Busfield, www.theguardian.com. October 9, 2009.

  9 Copy quote

• We all know that small cars are good for us. But so is cod liver oil. And jogging.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Oil, Car, Jogging

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  28 Copy quote

• There are shantytowns in South Africa that are built better than Renaults!

  Jeremy Clarkson

  South, Built, South Africa

  "Top Gear", Episode #4.6. Comedy, Talk-Show, June 13, 2004.

  6 Copy quote

• The fact is that Britain is the most warlike nation on earth. In the history of armed combat, we are the only democracy to have declared war on another democracy - England versus Finland in the second world war, in case you're interested - and we're always at the front of the queue when Johnny Foreigner gets a bit uppity. Who stood up to the Kaiser? Who stood up to Adolf? And let's not forget the Argies. What other country would have sent its fleet halfway round the world and lost 250 men to protect a flock of sheep and some oil that might or might not be there? We're still at it.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Country, War, Men

  17 Copy quote

• I'm sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Sorry, Sleep, Bed

  Jeremy Clarkson (2009). “Driven to Distraction”, p.102, Penguin UK

  55 Copy quote

• I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Believe, Animal, Top Gear

  17 Copy quote

• Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Car, Ferrari, Tonight

  19 Copy quote

• Nothing can prepare you for the yawning chasm of time that passes in Canada before the healthcare system actually does any healthcare.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Yawning, Doe, Canada

  Jeremy Clarkson (2010). “How Hard Can It Be?: The World According to Clarkson”, p.215, Penguin UK

  5 Copy quote

• Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It's like making a hard core adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You'd just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke's sweaty face.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Editing, Car, Racing

  "Top Gear". TV Series, www.imdb.com.

  10 Copy quote

• Americans are good at herding Bison. The end.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Bison, Ends

  17 Copy quote

• You have city centre pubs where men go to meet girls, not realising that all girls in city centre pubs have thighs like tug boats and morals that would surprise a zoo animal.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Girl, Zoos, Animal

  19 Copy quote

• If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Bmw, House, Leaving

  15 Copy quote

• Boredom forces you to ring people you haven’t seen for eighteen years and halfway through the conversation you remember why you left it so long. Boredom means you start to read not only mail-order catalogues but also the advertising inserts that fall on the floor. Boredom gives you half a mind to get a gun and go berserk in the local shopping centre, and you know where this is going. Eventually, boredom means you will take up golf.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Fall, Mean, Golf

  Jeremy Clarkson (2004). “The world according to Clarkson”

  10 Copy quote

• I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Thinking, Swedish

  14 Copy quote

• [on the BMW X3] If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and think you are an onion, here's your car.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Morning, Mean, Thinking

  "Top Gear (Episode #4.10)". TV Series, August 1, 2004.

  21 Copy quote

• Like many men, I can never find anything that I'm looking for, even when I'm actually looking at it. In a fridge, I think milk is actually invisible to the male eye. And so, it turns out, are dirty great holes in the fence.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Dirty, Eye, Men

  "Not fair – donkeys get all the breaks" by Jeremy Clarkson, www.thetimes.co.uk. September 6, 2009.

  7 Copy quote

• I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating tw*t

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Reading, Mirrors, Car

  14 Copy quote

• Supercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill and then run over him again for good measure. They are designed to melt ice caps, kill the poor, poison the water table, destroy the ozone layer, decimate indigenous wildlife, recapture the Falkland Islands and turn the entire third world into a huge uninhabitable desert, all that before they nicked all the oil in the world.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Running, Oil, Islands

  "Top Gear", October 31, 2004.

  18 Copy quote

• I love Alfa Romeos and that [Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio] was tremendous.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Alfa Romeo

  Source: www.cbc.ca

  23 Copy quote

• God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  World, May, Six

  10 Copy quote

• If you're thinking of coming to America, this is what it's like: you've got your Comfort Inn, you've got your Best Western, and you've got your Red Lobster where you eat. Everybody's very fat, everybody's very stupid and everybody's very rude - it's not a holiday programme, it's the truth.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Stupid, Holiday, Thinking

  10 Copy quote

• I'm having a nice cold pint and waiting for this to blow over.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Nice, Blow, Waiting

  "Jeremy Clarkson suspended by BBC over 'fracas' with Top Gear producer" by Jane Martinson, www.theguardian.com. March 11, 2015.

  5 Copy quote

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