George Carlin Quotes - Page 31

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• The first obligation I have is to be funny; it's my first impulse and an instinct. I like being funny and finding the jokes.

  George Carlin

  Firsts, Instinct, Impulse

  Source: www.avclub.com

  6 Copy quote

• My mother and I had a lot of distance between us emotionally, although, on the surface, most of the time, we appeared good and friendly, and all that. But I was a problem. I was a street kid.

  George Carlin

  Mother, Distance, Kids

  Source: mavericksofthemind.com

  6 Copy quote

• I think of myself as an entertainer: I'm a performing entertainer, I'm a stand-up comic. But there's an artist at work here, too. One who interprets his world through his own filter.

  George Carlin

  Artist, Thinking, Filters

  7 Copy quote

• One of the interesting things about "outsidership" is that underneath it there's a longing to belong. I just wish the thing I refused to belong to - the species, Western capital culture - was a little more respectable. My one true relaxation is my flotation tank, in which I can either meditate or just drift off.

  George Carlin

  Interesting, Relaxation, Wish

  Interview with Ricky Young, www.motherjones.com. March/April 1997.

  6 Copy quote

• I just love it when I hear a little commotion, someone leaving. When I see those doors in the back . . .

  George Carlin

  Doors, Leaving, Littles

  7 Copy quote

• There was a built-in audience for the rebel in me that had been all along not expressing himself.

  George Carlin

  Rebel, Audience, Built

  6 Copy quote

• The sicker you get, the harder it is to remember if you took your medicine.

  George Carlin

  Medicine, Remember, Harder

  George Carlin (1998). “Brain Droppings”, Hyperion

  7 Copy quote

• When people asked me, "Do you get high to go onstage?" I could never understand the question. I mean, I'd been high since eight that morning.

  George Carlin

  Morning, Mean, Eight

  Source: reprints.longform.org

  7 Copy quote

• I use the [vulgar] words because apparently these words do not corrupt morally. I'm from the street in New York, hung around in a tough neighborhood. It was common to curse, you make your point. It's a very effective language. I try not to overdo it. It's never to shock. I know where it fits, it's never to shock. There's no shock value left in words.

  George Carlin

  New York, Trying, Use

  Source: www.psychologytoday.com

  7 Copy quote

• The base of evil in the world is religion of any kind

  George Carlin

  Evil, World, Kind

  6 Copy quote

• I feel sorry for confetti. Its useful life lasts about two seconds. And it can never be used again.

  George Carlin

  Sorry, Two, Comedian

  George Carlin (1998). “Brain Droppings”, Hyperion

  18 Copy quote

• There are a lot of little things about our bodies that we all know, but we never talk about. That's what interests me. These are practically universal experiences; nobody mentions them! Some of them are disgusting. Some of them are appallingly revolting and degrading even to the most degenerate mind. So let's get started with a couple of them.

  George Carlin

  Couple, Mind, Littles

  6 Copy quote

• I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. But I'm not in a league with Lenny [Bruce], certainly not in terms of social commentary.

  George Carlin

  Believe, League, Social

  Source: reprints.longform.org

  7 Copy quote

• I went to my old school, where all the kids I'd been with for eight years were about to graduate. But the sisters wanted me to repeat the whole term; so I went to the principal and pleaded with her to allow me to graduate with my class. She finally agreed on the condition that I write the graduation play. It was called How Do You Spend Your Leisure Time?Catchy title, huh?

  George Carlin

  School, Kids, Writing

  Source: reprints.longform.org

  8 Copy quote

• Weather tonight: dark. Turning partly light by morning.

  George Carlin

  Morning, Dark, Light

  4 Copy quote

• By the next one [albom],Occupation: Foole, I was right back into the trip again. I'm more frantic, more breathless. You can hear how sick I am. If you want to see a cokehead, just look at the pictures on the Occupation: Foole album.

  George Carlin

  Sick, Albums, Looks

  Source: reprints.longform.org

  4 Copy quote

• Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.

  George Carlin

  Lost, Traders, Priests

  "Mourning George Carlin, Our Best BS Detector" by Matthew Rothschild, www.sharedhost.progressive.org. June 23, 2008.

  8 Copy quote

• Heroin, forget it. In my neighborhood, I could see what heroin did firsthand and I was definitely afraid of that number.

  George Carlin

  Numbers, Forget, Heroin

  Source: reprints.longform.org

  7 Copy quote

• The Christians are coming to get you, and they are not pleasant people.

  George Carlin

  Christian, People, Pleasant

  George Carlin (2002). “Napalm & Silly Putty”, Hyperion

  7 Copy quote

• What I became a comedian for was to get my art out. To get some of these feelings and things I had on my chest out. I don't care if people believe them, listen to them, change their ways, or think, or any of that kind of crap. I'm interested in showing off. I'm the same kid from sixth grade who stood up and said "watch this."

  George Carlin

  Art, Believe, Kids

  Source: www.cnn.com

  7 Copy quote

• I was a hip kid. When I saw Bambi it was the midnight show.

  George Carlin

  Kids, Midnight, Saws

  George Carlin (1998). “Brain Droppings”, Hyperion

  7 Copy quote

• Baby boomers helped me a great deal in my career. They launched me. They were there for me to sing my song to. And I'm not saying I'm better than anyone, but I think they turned that anti-authority baby boom mentality into their own enemy. Now I identify very closely with their children.

  George Carlin

  Song, Baby, Children

  Source: www.motherjones.com

  4 Copy quote

• I went straight from shenanigans to crimes against humanity.

  George Carlin

  Humanity, Shenanigans, Crime

  14 Copy quote

• If you live long enough, sooner or later everybody you know has cancer.

  George Carlin

  Funny, Cancer, Humor

  7 Copy quote

• I kind of like it when a lot of people die, and on the other hand I always wonder how many unused frequent-flier miles they had.

  George Carlin

  Hands, People, Kind

  George Carlin (2002). “Napalm & Silly Putty”, Hyperion

  6 Copy quote

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