You give her all your french fries, even when she won't give you back onion rings,' Sophie says. 'And when you say her name it sounds different.' How?' Sophie thinks. 'Like it's covered with blankets.
when you [lose someone], it feels like the hole in your gum when a tooth falls out. You can chew, you can eat, you have plenty of other teeth, but your tongue keeps going back to that empty place, where all nerves are still a little raw
It was a strange thing, to still be in love with your wife and to not know if you liked her. What would happen when this was all over? Could you forgive someone if she hurt you and the people you love, if she truly believed she was only trying to help? I had filed for divorce, but that wasn't what I really wanted. What I really wanted was for all of us to go back two years, and start over. Had I ever really told her that?
People changed. Even the people you thought you knew as well as you knew yourself.
I don't understand why people never say what they mean. It's like the immigrants who come to a country and learn the language but are completely baffled by idioms. (Seriously, how could anyone who isn't a native English speaker 'get the picture,' so to speak, and not assume it has something to do with a photo or a painting?)
I know Mark,' I reply. 'And I don't like him.' 'But I do. And part of being social means being civil to someone you don't like.' 'That's stupid. It's a huge world. why not just get up and walk away?' 'Because that's rude,' Jess explains. 'I think it's rude to stick a smile on your face and pretend you like talking to someone when in reality you'd rather be sticking bamboo slivers under your fingernails.
Until this moment, I had not realized that someone could break your heart twice, along the very same fault lines.
don't say it. don't tell me that nobody's going to stare at me, because they will. don't tell me it doesn't matter, because it does. and don't tell me i look fine because that's a lie.
You're unwilling to go out on a limb because it just might break underneath you.
What's worse ...? The devil you don't know ... or the devil you do?
There are certain things I do not talk about.
Even though it hurt, there are kinds of pain you couldn't speak out loud.
God doesn't give people burdens they can't handle.
Energy can't be destroyed, only converted into something different. So when a person dies, where does that energy go?
But mostly I wondered why the head could move so swiftly while the heart dragged its feet. I still loved him. It felt like anything else permanent that has gone missing; a lost tooth, a severed leg. You might know better, but that doesn’t keep your tongue from poling at the hole in your gum, or your phantom limb from aching.
If I have gained anything over these months, it is the knowledge there is no starting over- only living with the mistakes you've made.
If you don't know there's an alternative, you can't miss it
The best relationships were the ones where both sides went out of their way to make sure the other wasn't disappointed.
I knew what it was like to lose someone you loved. You didn't get past something like that, you got through it.
It's just like nurses in a hospital tend to know more than the doctors most of the time; if you really want to get the answers to a question about court, you should spend more time buttering up the clerks than the judges.
You live and let live, eventually that becomes enough.
No one gets to start where they left off; it just doesn't work that way.
Not everyone understands how you can spin two lassos at the same time, one of hope and one of grief.
Wheather it is conscious or not, you eventually make the decision to divide your life in half - before and after - with loss being that tight bubble in the middle. You can move around in spite of it; you can laugh and smile and carry on with your life, but all it takes is one slow range of motion, a doubling over, to be fully aware of the empty space at your center.
In this new place we've found, sometimes there aren't words, because the truth can be even more difficult than the lies.
"Everyone still deserves to have their say."
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