Dylan Moran Quotes - Page 7

Quotes about:

• When I was young, all the politicians looked like ancient Latin teachers or greengrocers. They were mumbly, stumbly men with their hair blowing in their eyes, walking into trees, opening the wrong door. They had no idea how to present themselves.

  Dylan Moran

  Teacher, Latin, Eye

  4 Copy quote

• I enjoy performing, always, but when you're taping a gig, you've got to blank out this mass apparatus of self-consciousness that's surrounding you, this invitation to drown in self-consciousness. Otherwise you just won't be able to do anything.

  Dylan Moran

  Self, Gigs, Able

  "Half-cut? I'd be entirely cut, sliced and diced every which way". Interview with Hannah Pool, www.theguardian.com. December 06, 2006.

  4 Copy quote

• I'm delighted to make as many people feel ashamed as possible. There's probably a site like that for everybody. I've heard Newt Gingrich has his own as well.

  Dylan Moran

  People, Newts, Site

  4 Copy quote

• It probably says something really clinically terrible about my character that I need to get up on a stage and go 'Ra ra ra' in front of people.

  Dylan Moran

  Character, People, Needs

  4 Copy quote

• Idioms are a big thing in Ireland. They want to fill the time, to show how good they are at talk - it's a talk-off

  Dylan Moran

  Want, Bigs, Shows

  4 Copy quote

• Now I'm not an expert at mathematics, but I calculated it would take at least three of me to take on one third of one of them, even if they were attacking me with just their arse.

  Dylan Moran

  Funny, Humor, Experts

  4 Copy quote

• Wow this place is really big isn't it? They must do proper stuff here, like opera and all that...shite.

  Dylan Moran

  Funny, Humor, Opera

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• Kids, they are always hurting themselves. It's like, "Quick, get me to casualty quick!" while your doing something important like sitting down picking your ear.

  Dylan Moran

  Funny, Hurt, Humor

  4 Copy quote

• Cooking? Oh we were great, you'd take anything and melt cheese on it, and the one who could guess what it was didn't have to wash up!

  Dylan Moran

  Funny, Humor, Cooking

  4 Copy quote

• Organic? I grew up on Angel Delight. We didn't have anything in the house if it wasn't neon!

  Dylan Moran

  Funny, Humor, Angel

  "Dylan Moran: Monster". Documentary, Comedy, 2004.

  4 Copy quote

• I wish I was like you! You know startled by direct sunlight.

  Dylan Moran

  Funny, Humor, Wish

  4 Copy quote

• The terror of failure can make you feel like a failure. So a bunch of people think you're not very good at your thing. How much do you invest in what they say? How much do you care? Failure is not putting yourself on the line.

  Dylan Moran

  Thinking, People, Care

  "This much I know". Interview with Ursula Kenny, www.theguardian.com. March 6, 2004.

  4 Copy quote

• I was fat! I was pustule-rich! I looked like a pink human grenade! When did I blossom into the irresistible little orchid that I am now? I don't know. Getting taller helps. It spreads out a bit.

  Dylan Moran

  Funny, Humor, Orchids

  11 Copy quote

• One thing that's coming up a lot is: are you as grumpy as you appear from this Black Books thing.

  Dylan Moran

  Funny, Book, Humor

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  4 Copy quote

• He could dismiss several schools of philosophy by shifting slightly in his chair or toting his whisky glass.

  Dylan Moran

  Funny, Philosophy, School

  4 Copy quote

• Don't clap I'm not a jazz band for Christ's sake.

  Dylan Moran

  Funny, Humor, Band

  4 Copy quote

• You see the button with the guy with the tray, and you push it, and he arrives with a sandwich! And you think: "Yes! Yes! I control sandwich monkey! I live in magic land, magic land, magic land"

  Dylan Moran

  Funny, Humor, Thinking

  "Monster". Documentary, Comedy, 2004.

  4 Copy quote

• Lots of comics try stuff out all year round, which is very sensible - I don't.

  Dylan Moran

  Years, Trying, Stuff

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• I'm Irish, yeah, but I don't need to get up on a soapbox about it.

  Dylan Moran

  Needs, Soapbox, Get Up

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• I'm just a guy who happens to work in public from time to time. I've built a reputation as an established comic, not as a celebrity - a celebrity is someone who is famous but doesn't do anything.

  Dylan Moran

  Guy, Reputation, Comic

  4 Copy quote

• I don't know that you're able to measure your aggregate wisdom as you go through life. I can't say that I ever feel that I'm sitting on top of a growing mound of wisdom.

  Dylan Moran

  Sitting, Growing, Able

  "This much I know". Interview with Ursula Kenny, www.theguardian.com. March 6, 2004.

  4 Copy quote

• You can laugh at somebody because they are innocent, and because they are naive or they are about to walk into a wall, but if somebody's giving you stuff, if somebody's talking, giving you their take on things, what makes you laugh, generally speaking, is going to be somebody who is telling it in an angry way.

  Dylan Moran

  Wall, Talking, Giving

  "Half-cut? I'd be entirely cut, sliced and diced every which way". Interview with Hannah Pool, www.theguardian.com. December 6, 2006.

  4 Copy quote

• I actually very rarely see comedy myself, and although I admire the work of some comics, it does come from all over, so I’ll get a charge out of some fiction writers and poets.

  Dylan Moran

  Doe, Fiction, Comedy

  "Dylan Moran Makes Sentences of Things". Interview with J.L. Sirisuk, www.interviewmagazine.com. June 13, 2013.

  4 Copy quote

• I can't relax here. These people have no pubic hair anywhere. We have pubic hair on the ceiling.

  Dylan Moran

  Funny, Humor, Hair

  "Dylan Moran: Monster". Video, November 15, 2004.

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• I would never really analyse what I do. I leave that to other people - I'm not a critic. I just want to get on with whatever I have in hand, you know? Just try to make the best job of the available material.

  Dylan Moran

  Jobs, Hands, Best Job

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