Christopher Moore Quotes - Page 4

Quotes about:

• Christmas crept into Pine Cove like a creeping Christmas thing: dragging garland, ribbon, and sleigh bells, oozing eggnog, reeking of pine, and threatening festive doom like a cold sore under the mistletoe.

  Christopher Moore

  Bells, Ribbons, Cold

  FaceBook post by Christopher Moore from Dec 06, 2013

  21 Copy quote

• I fear you may become a lonely man, even in the company of others.

  Christopher Moore

  Lonely, Men, May

  5 Copy quote

• Like last year I took Advance Foods class (which is like cooking for nerds) after lunch, and so I usually took a nap. Which was fine, because I'm not even thrilled about regular foods, so, you know, what do I need with like advanced digital HD wi-fi foods and whatnot? -Abby

  Christopher Moore

  Naps, Years, Class

  4 Copy quote

• Nothing evokes the prurient like puritanism.

  Christopher Moore

  Evoke, Puritanism

  Christopher Moore (2009). “Practical Demonkeeping”, p.204, Zondervan

  4 Copy quote

• Boredom can be a lethal thing on a small island.

  Christopher Moore

  Crazy, Blessing, Islands

  8 Copy quote

• Don't drive drunk. Ever. Don't shag anyone you don't like, or who doesn't like you. Get a look at how people live in a place where you don't. Suffering is over-rated, don't pursue it. Ask for help when you need it, don't when you don't, and learn to recognize the difference. Don't confuse movement and progress. Be kind. Be forgiving. Pay attention.

  Christopher Moore

  Differences, People, Drunk

  5 Copy quote

• Only cops and vampires have to have an invitation to enter.

  Christopher Moore

  Law, Vampire, Cop

  Christopher Moore (2009). “Practical Demonkeeping: Book 1: Pine Cove Series”, p.208, Hachette UK

  6 Copy quote

• Whistler,' Manet called. 'How's your mother?

  Christopher Moore

  Mother, Whistler

  4 Copy quote

• May the IRS find that you deduct your pet sheep as an entertainment expense.

  Christopher Moore

  Sheep, Pet, Irs

  Christopher Moore (2009). “Practical Demonkeeping”, p.53, Zondervan

  4 Copy quote

• Just because he was pretty didn't mean he couldn't be improved by a smack upside the head with a piece of earnest hickory

  Christopher Moore

  Mean, Pieces, Earnest

  Christopher Moore (2009). “The Stupidest Angel (v2.0): A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror”, p.27, Harper Collins

  4 Copy quote

• Life is an irritation.

  Christopher Moore

  Irritation, Life Is

  Christopher Moore (2009). “Island Of The Sequined Love Nun: A Novel”, p.66, Hachette UK

  4 Copy quote

• You're going to break my heart, aren't you?

  Christopher Moore

  Heart, My Heart, Break

  Christopher Moore (2009). “Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story”, p.62, Simon and Schuster

  6 Copy quote

• You want me and I want you. right?" Who did she think she was? You can't just go around blurting out the truth like a prophet with Tourette's Syndrome. He said, "Well, I guess. Yeah, that's right.

  Christopher Moore

  Thinking, Want, Prophet

  Christopher Moore (2009). “Coyote Blue: A Novel”, p.118, Simon and Schuster

  6 Copy quote

• In fact, he sorely hoped that it would happen, because otherwise, the world made no sense, there was no justice, and life was just a tangled ball of chaos.

  Christopher Moore

  Justice, Tangled, World

  Christopher Moore (2009). “A Dirty Job: A Novel”, p.225, Hachette UK

  8 Copy quote

• I know that even now, having watched enough television, you probably won't even refer to them as lepers so as to spare their feelings. You probably call them 'parts-dropping-off challenged' or something.

  Christopher Moore

  Feelings, Television, Enough

  4 Copy quote

• Advice, then, young yeoman: When referring to the king's middle daughter, state that she is fair, speculate that she is pious, but unless you'd like to spend your watch looking for the box where your head is kept, resist the urge to wax ignorant on her naughty bits." -Pocket I don't know what that means, sir." -Yeoman Speak not of Regan's shaggacity, son" [...] -Pocket

  Christopher Moore

  Daughter, Kings, Mean

  Christopher Moore (2009). “Fool: A Novel”, p.8, Harper Collins

  4 Copy quote

• Foul and magical fumes bubbled out of the kettle, like the flatulence of a dragon on a demon-only diet.

  Christopher Moore

  Dragons, Demon, Flatulence

  Christopher Moore (2010). “Bite Me”, p.75, Hachette UK

  5 Copy quote

• Theophilus Crowe's mobile phone played eight bars of "Tangled Up in Blue" in an irritating electronic voice that sounded like a choir of suffering houseflies, or Jiminy Cricket huffing helium, or, well, you know, Bob Dylan.

  Christopher Moore

  Eight, Phones, Blue

  Christopher Moore (2009). “The Stupidest Angel”, p.12, Harper Collins

  4 Copy quote

• Yo, yo, yo, check it out," said PJ, with enough hand gestures that any deaf person watching would have thought he had ASL Tourette's syndrome

  Christopher Moore

  Pjs, Hands, Gestures

  4 Copy quote

• Well they're pissed off and they're hungry. I was kind of busy trying not to get my brains eaten. They seemed pretty adamant about the brain-eating thing. Then they're going to IKEA, I guess

  Christopher Moore

  Ikea, Brain, Trying

  Christopher Moore (2009). “The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror”, p.136, Hachette UK

  13 Copy quote

• It's like time travel only, you know, slower.

  Christopher Moore

  Time Travel, Knows

  Christopher Moore (2009). “You Suck”, p.66, Hachette UK

  7 Copy quote

• As a teacher of fourth-graders in a public school, where corporal punishement was not allowed, she had years of violence stored up and was, truth be told, sort of enjoying letting it out on Kona, who she felt could have been the poster child for the failure of public education.

  Christopher Moore

  Teacher, Children, School

  7 Copy quote

• He wanted her to experience all the glorious cheese of life.

  Christopher Moore

  Cheese, Crackers, Wanted

  8 Copy quote

• I love you above all things, even pie.

  Christopher Moore

  Love You, Pie, All Things

  Christopher Moore (2010). “Fool”, p.25, Hachette UK

  5 Copy quote

• If you like what you're reading, I probably wrote it.

  Christopher Moore

  Reading, Ifs

  5 Copy quote

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